DISCLAIMER: This blog is not for profit. All images used below are property of the Walt Disney Corporation unless stated otherwise. I do not claim ownership of this material.
Very recently I became a father, and I freely admit that there are probably wolves out there that know more about child rearing than I do. I do know one thing, though. If my daughter grows up without knowing that Disney is awesome I will have failed as a father, a human being and, yes, as one of the higher primates.
What did you say about Pocahontas?!!!!
So I have decided to embark on a massive, foolhardy and quite possibly dangerous quest: To watch and review all of the canon Disney classics until there are none left or I get bored and give up. And because this is the internet and random ranking and comparison is how we do, I will be rating each of them out of a hundred to try and find the best and worst Disney movie.
First of all, a few ground rules:
Rule 1. None of the straight to video sequels, because those things give you Ebola.
Everything was fine until someone watched Mulan 2: Mul Harder
Rule 2: No live action movies. I’m only doing the full length animated theatrical releases. I may, however, decide to review live action movies with animated segments like Mary Poppins, Bedknobs and Broomsticks and Song of the South because apparently I don’t have enough rage and controversy in my life.
Rule 3: No Pixar movies. Yeah, I know they’re awesome. But they’re not Disney movies. They’re Pixar movies, it’s a completely different tone and aesthetic. All that Disney/Pixar BS doesn’t fly here.
You. Do. Not. Fly. Here.
Rule 4 Never trust a man with smile lines around his mouth and none around his eyes. That’s not a rule for the blog, that’s a rule for life. You’re welcome.
Okay, let this mad folly commence…