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A Little Bit of Curry: Peter Pan and the Pirates (1990)

I have, as regular readers of this blog know, strong feelings on JM Barrie’s seminal masterpiece Peter Pan and Wendy and its many adaptations.

Peter Pan and the Pirates was an animated series that ran on Fox Kids from 1990 to 1991 and, like all animated adaptations had to contend with comparisons to the Disney version of the nineteen fifties. This obvious comparison (and, I suspect, a desire to avoid leaving blood in the water for Disney’s lawyers) is why we get some of the most radical visual departures from how these characters are usually portrayed with the biggest change doubtless being the series’ depiction of one Jas. Hook.

Now, I’ll be honest I really don’t like this design. I get that the white hair and the black outfit is a deliberate subversion but the hook and crossbones on his his hat is goofy and his face looks more like a background henchman than a devious pirate king.

But, my God, none of that really matters because the creators got Tim Curry to voice him and we get probably the single best depiction of Captain Hook in any medium. I personally prefer Jason Isaacs because he looks perfect but Curry just eats this part alive.

And the great thing is, that for once the writers seemed to realise the gift they’d been given and they proceeded to give him Shakespeare. The writers delighted in giving Curry the most verbose, beautifully ornate dialogue and letting him go to town.

But for all the fun (and it’s is very, very fun), Curry gets at the darkness and majesty of the character in a way that very few actors have.

In the episode Ages of Pan, Peter succeeds in trapping Hook, tying him to a tree and threatening to kill him with a crossbow. And Hook faces him, entirely unflinching, and psychologically destroys him with words alone.

This? This is what Hook should always be.

Evil, Sexy, Evilly Sexy or Funny Accent?: Mostly evil, with a soupcon of Funny Accent given how he pronounces boy as “boi” like he’s on Total Request live circa 1998.

Get 25% of Help! I’m Being Eaten by a Bear!

Hello, hello! My next picture book, Help! I’m Being Eaten by a Bear! is going on sale 3rd of November and you (yes YOU!) can preorder it from Barnes and Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/help-im-being-eaten-by-a-bear-neil-sharpson/1149062217?ean=9780593616703. Use the code PREORDER25 and tell ’em mouse sent ya. I’m really proud of this book which was illustrated by the amazing Dan Santat who also illustrated my last book, Don’t Trust Fish.

“Gee Mouse, isn’t that your picture book that has now spent five weeks on the New York Times bestseller list?”
“I know, I know, so humbing.”
“Gee Mouse, didn’t you once tell me that the New York Times bestseller list is an opaque elitist metric whose connection to either raw sales or artistic merit is tenuous in the extreme?”
“That was old, loser Mouse. His opinions mean nothing!”

Get Help! I’m Being Eaten by a Bear!

Sorry, I meant, get the book. I’m not actually being eaten by a bear and you don’t have to get help.

The Day the Earth Blew Up and Coyote Versus ACME

Since the nineteen sixties Warner Bros has had what must be a uniquely frustrating problem:

They own some of the most beloved and iconic cartoon characters in history but have no viable format with which to use them. The Looney Tunes were the absolute masters of the theatrical animated short, which these days is like being the world’s best court jester. Impressive, but how exactly does one make money from that?

Each one of these characters was honed by a process of rigorous cinematic evolution for one purpose; deliver as many fantastic gags as possible within a seven minute span. And, like any creature that evolved for a super-specific niche, they don’t handle changes to their environment well.

Part of the problem is that their style of comedy is primarily visual. Oh sure, there’s plenty of great verbal comedy but the bulk of the laughs come from Mel Blanc’s delivery and some of the most sublime animation ever put to film. And you’re just not going to get that on a TV animation budget. Especially not Mel Blanc.

As for movies, Warner Bros have tried to make the Tunes work in feature animation for decades. These were usually anthology films, taking several classic shorts united by a common theme (horror, sci-fi, show-biz) and weaving them into a loose narrative. At their best, these films are fine. But they are very obviously classic cartoons interspersed with visibly weaker animation and an audibly older and tireder Mel Blanc. They don’t really work as movies and that comes down, fundamentally, to just the different nature of how Warner Bros crfated these characters compared to, say, Disney.

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Why I love playing: Spiritfarer

If you’re someone who’s had to deal with depression at any point in your life (and if you’re not, hello, freak) then here’s a piece of advice that’s stood me in good stead: keep a list of the media that makes you happy.

I have a collection of movies (Emperor’s New Groove, Big Lebowski), TV Shows (Frasier, Simpsons) and books (literally anything by PG Wodehouse) that have served me well when the black dog is scratching at the door and whining to be let out so that it can shit on the lawn of my mental health. To these I add Spiritfarer, a cosy management sim by Canadian indie developer Thunder Lotus Games released in 2020 for Windows, Mac, Linux, PS4, XBox One, Switch, Android and Stadia.

It’s a lovely, sweet, relaxing game about DEATH.

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Justice League Unlimited: “For the man who has everything”

I make fun of Alan Moore sometimes, but rest assured it comes from a place of purest admiration. He’s who I want to be when I grow up.

When I’m in my seventies I want to be a mouthy old beard engaging in magic duals with gender-ambiguous wizards, worshipping a snake god and complaining about everything all the time.

“That’s not true! I stop when I’m asleep, don’t I?”

And today, while hacking my way through this goddamn draft, I will take a break to briefly review what is (I believe) literally the only adaptation of Alan Moore’s work to receive his blessing, Justice League Unlimited’s second episode, For the Man Who Has Everything.

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Why I Love Playing: Suzerain

I’ve decided to start a new little mini-series here where I talk about games that I really love and try to explain why they work for me and (maybe) give some attention to titles that I think deserve more love.

One of these is definitely Suzerain which is by no means unknown but, I feel, is probably more niche. So what is this game and why do I love it?

Suzerain is a 2020 political simulator from German publisher Torpor Games, available on Nintendo Switch, Mac, Android, iOS and Windows. You play Anton Rayne, the fourth president of the fictional nation of Sordland in the equally fictional continent of Merkopa. After a choose-your-own-way recounting of your early life which functions as a character creation session you get to choose Anton’s socio-economic and political background. The game takes you from his election to president to the end of his first term, with you facing various political crises and scandals while you try to shape the country to your own political ideology.

Suzerain teaches you very, very quickly that politics is hard, messy and often deeply morally compromised. On my first play through I just tried to rule according to my conscience, funding health and education, avoiding military conflicts, pouring money into welfare, trying to reform the constitution and advancing the rights of women and ethnic minorities.

President Rayne’s first term ended with him strapped into an electric chair and the bastards didn’t even wet the sponge.

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Disney Reviews with the Unshaved Mouse #64: Zootopia 2

My friends, I ask you to consider a simple hypothetical:

Maybe we’re the assholes?

This meme did the rounds last year after Pixar’s Elio crashed and burned and someone at Disney had gotten into the hard liquor and had some feelings they needed to express. And while I do believe that 90% of the time creators blaming the audience for the failure of their project is the mark of a talentless hack so high off their own farts that they genuinely believe that the only way anyone could dislike their output is if there was something morally wrong with them…

Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.

…you know what? I gotta give them this one. And I can say that, because I am actually one of the two people who saw Elio (Micro-Mouse is the other one). Elio is not a perfect film and I probably won’t watch it again. But it was charming, well animated, sincere and, yes, not a retread or rehash or cynical nostalgia bait cash grab and we all just left it to die on the road like a leper.

It’s one thing for Disney to complain that we didn’t give them a participation trophy for Strange World or Wish. When we said “we want original animated films”, the rider “…that aren’t absolute bobbins” should have been taken as read.

But with Elio, they showed up. They gave us what we said we wanted. Aaaaaand it turns out we were a bunch of lying hoors because we instead gave a billions dollars to this:

I’m acknowledging this exists. Enjoy it while it lasts because this is the only time.

Then again, this year saw the hugely succesful release of Hoppers, which was not merely good like Elio but genuinely excellent with a truly original premise, animation that actually innovates and shakes up the old Pixar house style and some great comedy. Well, I say “original”. Clearly they stole wholesale from Don’t Trust Fish.

“You’ll be hearing from my lawyers.”
“Our lawyers ate your lawyers. And left their bones in a pile outside the entrance to “It’s a Small World””.

But it doesn’t matter! Because the next Hoppers might end up like Elio. We can’t be trusted, and once you’ve proven you can’t be trusted no one will ever deal with you because they know you’ll never negotiate in good faith and now somehow fucking Iran has the world’s economy by the goddamn short-hairs.

I mean, that’s how we get Zootopia 2.

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From sea to shining sea

Two weeks, 20,000 kilometres, 4 countries. There are trips and there are TRIPS and my contribution to the family collection of fridge magnets has been robust and muscular.

Late in February I took part in the Whole Wide World book tour organised by Children’s Books Ireland and Laureate na n-Óg Patricia Forde to visit schools across Northern Ireland. And once that was over, I immediately began a ten day book tour of North America. Why did I agree to do those two things so close together?

Anyway, horrendous “I’m pretty sure the devil is hiding in the wallpaper” level jet lag not withstanding, this was an absolutely incredible journey.

For starters, I finally got to meet Dan Santat who, despite the fact that we made a bestselling book together, had never actually been in the same room before. It’s always a little risky to meet someone for the first time and then spend almost a fortnight in close proximity but, as we explained to many schoolchildren, it’s really the only way to make friends in your forties. Seriously though, Dan is absolute gem of a human being and it was wonderful to have him as a guide through his amazing, often bewildering country.

We started in Chicago, headed to Austin and then San Antonio, then up to Colorado, over to Seattle, down to San Juan California and then up to Vancouver visiting a total of 16 schools and bookstores.

We actually got to meet the Cat in the Hat. Total prick.

Everywhere we went I was stunned by the generosity and the enthusiasm and the gosh-darned decency of everyone that we met.

I will treasure this 3D printed Jeff for the rest of my days.

This trip taught, or re-taught me that kids are kids the world over. They have the same hunger for knowledge, the same wonderfully mad sense of humour, the same mixture of innocence and great wisdom. Meeting these children, and the librarians and the teachers who work themselves to the bone on their behalf because they love them and understand how important they are has made me more optimistic than I have been for a while.

Naive of me to think, perhaps, but I think y’all are going to be alright.

K-Pop Demon Hunters (2025)

Heeeeey it’s me, Unshaved Mouse, your favourite writer/blogger who overpromises because he’s terrified of disappointing people and ends up taking on WAAAAY too many writing projects and then spirals and completely burns out!

“You know! THAT fucking idiot! Ha ha!”

So, as you all know I’m currently preparing for my first North American book tour at the end of this month while also facing a huge quivering mass of deadlines so this review is going to be shorter than the queues for Melania.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but I do have things to say about this movie.

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