“All rise for the Honorable Judge Claude Frollo.”
“Please be seated.”
“Good morning, your honour, my client the Unshaved Mouse is here to file a restraining order.”
“I see, and the target of this restraining order is…the state of Japan?”
“Mouse, please! This is all a big misunderstanding!”
“Don’t talk to me, criminal!”
“C’mon Mouse, we had good times! What about Miyazaki?”
“Oh, you mean your BAIT?”
“Order in the court! Plaintiff, what is the basis for your suit?”
“Well, it all began a few weeks ago…”
***
“If you sat an alien down and screened for him all the movies made in America in any given year, their first question would be “why do most of these have close up shots of dicks going into various orifices?” See, a huge percentage of films made in North America are hardcore porn because it’s cheap as chips to make and very lucrative. But when we think of “American cinema”, My Ass is Haunted is not usually part of the conversation. We compartmentalise porn and regular cinema, while filing Japanese hentai simply under “animé”. Japan’s porn tends to be animated, but other that there’s no real difference. The Japanese are no more “weird” or “sick” than we are.“
I wrote that back in my review of Akira, the first animé I ever reviewed for this blog. It was a plea for mutual respect and understanding between nations, a plea I must now formally retract because oh my God Japan’s weird guys.
Japan is so, so, so weird.
unshavedmouse 