A belated thank you to these new patrons:
Isaacblue72, an AI from the future who came back in time to teach us all about the magic of future funk.
Ragnar Haukur Sverrisson, who ruled the Viking settlement of Dublin from 1041 to 1982.
Castiel Destler, villain of the relatively obscure but well regarded James Bond movie On Her Majesty’s Secret Mission to Russia with a View to a Deadly Kill.
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“Keep up Mouse, we’re almost there!”
“Yeah, but where are we going? It’s Halloween and I’m Irish, I should NOT be running around creepy forests with undead warlocks on Samhain that is just asking for trouble.”
“I’m looking for an old friend of mine and I have a hunch he’s somewhere around here. Check into this hotel for us while I have a look around.”
“Yeah. No. That’s a death hotel. That’s clearly a death hotel.”
“Would you rather stay at the Days Inn?”
“Okay, okay, jeez. I’ll book us into the death hotel.”
“And make you sure get a twin room. If you pull any of that “oh they only had a double available” shit I will melt your eyes.”
“Wow. You have completely misread my feelings towards you.”
Mouse where the hell is the review this is an outrage!
Sorry! Sorry, I’m really sorry. I was on holiday over the weekend and this review just slipped the hell away from me. I’m really sorry, especially since Qwirkyproductions has been waiting for this review since the frickin’ Obama administration. I’ll be ready for Halloween, promise.
Okay, well…you watch yer ass. See you next week.
Actually there’s one more thing…
You have GOT to be kidding
So my play, The Caspian Sea, came back from Alaska leaner, meaner and with a white wolf companion that it goes on adventures with. And now it’s getting a staged reading as part of the Newvember Theatre Festival on November 9th in the New Theatre Temple Bar. If you live in Dublin (we few, we happy few), tickets are on sale now and I’d love to see your face.
The rest of you, I’ll see your faces on Hallowe’en.
Telltale games are no more.
Telltale was originally formed in 2004 by former disgruntled LucasArts employees to revive the flagging adventure genre. Over the next few years Telltale earned a reputation as the gold standard for excellent writing in computer games (excellence in how they treated their employees, not so much). But I don’t want to talk about how Telltale made great games or how they ground their employees into a fine snortable powder. I want to talk about Batman, because I will never not find a way to talk about Batman, which you should keep in mind if you ever ask me to give a eulogy.
Telltale’s modus operandi was to take licenced properties (which is very common in the computer games industry) and to do genuinely interesting and original things with them (which, in the computer game industry, is as rare as catching a unicorn using a swear word). So when it was announced that Telltale were doing a Batman game? People. Were. Pumped.
Having been gifted a Nintendo Switch by my family last birthday I’ve finally played through both Batman games and I have feelings people. I have feelings that need to be expressed. So from here on in, spoilers abound.
This review was requested by patron Amelia Mellor. If you’d like me to review a movie, please consider supporting my Patreon.
Ha.
Ha ha.
Okay. Okay. I see. Alright.
Okay. Yup. Yup. Uh huh. Okay.
Sorry. My bad. I see I haven’t been clear enough on this topic. So let me be frank.
STOP ASKING ME TO REVIEW PIXAR MOVIES. STOP IT. JUST CUT THAT OUT.
You want to know what I think about Inside Out? It’s PERFECT, okay?! IT’S GODDAMN FICKETY FUCKETY FLAWLESS! IT’S A FRICKIN’ GOAT! IT’S THE BEST POSSIBLE VERSION OF ITSELF. THERE IS LITERALLY NOT ONE SINGLE THING I CAN THINK OF THAT WOULD IMPROVE IT.
So what (excuse me) but what the FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY ABOUT IT? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CRACK WISE? YOU’VE HANDED ME THE CEILING OF THE SISTINE CHAPEL AND SAID “HERE, MAKE WITH THE FUNNY”. I CAN’T MAKE WITH THE FUNNY BECAUSE IT’S ONE OF THE GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENTS IN THE HISTORY OF HUMANITY AND I HAVE A SOUL, YOU MOUTH BREATHING HEATHENS!
“Oh for the the love of…I ask you to review one of the worst movies ever and you piss and moan, I ask you to review one of the greatest movies ever and you piss and moan…”
“Try visiting the MIDDLE GROUND it’s pleasant and spacious!”
Ohhhhhhhh oy vey oyvey okay.
Inside Out. It’s the Pixar movie of Pixar movies. It makes other Pixar movies look like Dreamworks movies and Dreamworks movies look like pimply butts. It slays all that come before and after it. It’s so good, such a triumph of writing, design, animation and performance that honestly it’s a little intimidating and hard to love. It’s never going to be one of those movies that I just have on in the background because when I’m doing housework I usually prefer something that’s not going to break me emotionally like an egg.
I never used to cry at movies. Not really. I distinctly remember crying at the end of Michael Collins and that being a big, shocking thing. And that was a special case, because he’s like the George Washington of this thing and he was a real guy who really died (spoiler). But crying at movies just because they were sad? No. Not a thing.
That all changed with the arrival of somebody.
“Daddy, I can’t find my shoes.”
“We’re mice honey, we don’t wear shoes.”
“Minnie Mouse wears shoes.”
“Minnie Mouse has notions. Don’t you pay her any mind.”
Becoming a dad did something to me, people. Messed with my brain chemistry like a mad scientist juggling beakers and cackling. Now, when I watch a movie I cry if someone stubs their toe (unless its Adam Sandler, because my empathy can only stretch so far).
“Ha ha! Fatherhood turned you into a wussy!”
“You cried at that documentary about Pangea.”
“He…*choke* he had it all and he just fell apart I’m sorry I can’t do this…”
Researching this movie I learned that writer Pete Docter based it on observing changes in his daughter’s emotions when she reached eleven. I mean, I learned it, but I already knew it. This movie is so perfectly observed that it could only be drawn from real life.
unshavedmouse 