For the month of February on Unshaved Mouse we are running the Charity Movie Deathmatch and I need YOU (yes you, no, not you, the person behind you. Yes. You.) to make it as big a success as possible. Here’s how it works.
Below are the twelve movies that readers of this blog expressed the most interest in me reviewing. Here’s how to play.
- Go to this year’s charity, Love Without Boundaries, and make a donation, small or large. Love Without Boundaries provides vital services to Chinese orphaneges and is ranked four out of a possible four stars on Charity Navigator.
- Email me your receipt to firstname.lastname@example.org together with your choice of movie (movie. Singular. Although you can donate and vote as many times as you like for as many different movies as you like). Remember: Generosity is your weapon.
- The three lowest scoring movies will be eliminated on the 13th and again on the 20rd with the highest scoring three movies at the end of the month getting reviewed.
Simple right? And now, let’s meet the movies that will be brawling to the death for your entertainment.
Studio: Amblin Entertainment
Runtime: 77 minutes
AKA: “The Disast-ah from Alaska”
Younger, hungrier, leaner, Balto is probably what keeps All Dogs go to Heaven up at night. If they could put their differences aside however, these two canine-themes movies might be unstoppable and both get a spot in the final three. Regardless, Balto will be a formidable opponent, with plenty of support from the crowd and a reputation for being able to go that final mile.
Fievel Goes West
Studio: Amblin Entertainment
Runtime: 74 minutes
AKA: “The Don’t-Suck Sequel”
An immigrant kid with a tough upbringing, Fievel Goes West has battled his whole life against anti-sequel prejudice. Now, he takes that fight to the ring with everything on the line. Fievel Goes West is battling to support a family of less successful sequels and so cannot afford to show mercy to his opponents. If they die, they die.
Fritz the Cat
Runtime: 80 Minutes
AKA: “Fritz the Blitz”, “The X-Rated Executioner”
The oldest fighter in this year’s death-match is a heel through and through, bribing referees, using illegal moves and feeding on the hatred of the crowd. That hatred may be his greatest asset. The question is, who do the fans want to suffer more? The Cat, or the Mouse?
The Secret of Nimh
Studio: Don Bluth Productions
Runtime: 82 Minutes
AKA: “Mouse of Pain”
Rounding out the trio of Don Bluth movies competing for a spot, Secret of Nimh may be the most formidable contender of them all. It’s not unknown for movies to enter the ring, see who they’re up against and say “Nah. Forget it. I quit. Yes, I know it’s a deathmatch. Just make it quick.”
The Iron Giant
Runtime: 87 Minutes
AKA: “The Furious Fe”
Beloved by children, feared by his enemies, this gentle giant understands that as a role model he has to set an example. “STAY IN SCHOOL, EARTH-SPAWN!” he bellows as he crushes yet another challenger beneath his cold metallic heel.
Runtime: 101 minutes
AKA: “The Black Rabbit of Inlé”, “The Tharninantor”
It’s a movie about bunnies. How tough can it be? Has been the last thought of too many movies to count.
Charity Movie Deathmatch will be running all through February 2015. Please donate whatever you can, big or small and vot for your favourite movie. And don’t forget to share on Facebook and Twitter and the backs of the heads of passing bald people.
See ya at the final bout.