Help me out guys, a Beyonce is what now?

America, I love you. I do. Love your movies, your music, the powdered wigs of your founding fathers and I have never met an American who was not a thoroughly decent skin. But this TMZ shit has got to stop. Seriously, you guys need to cut that out.

So if you can’t see the video, it basically consists of the barking seals of TMZ expressing shock and disbelief that Jay-Z and Beyonce were able to take their daughter for a walk in the Phoenix Park in Dublin without getting mobbed. Clearly, the only reason could be (and yeah, the gobshite who suggests this in the video does seem to be Irish himself) was because these poor potato munchers didn’t know who my man Hove and Queen B actually are. Not because, you know, hassling celebrities when they’re out with their kids is kind of a shitty thing to do. No clearly there’s something wrong with us. Like, as a nation. But worry not, TMZ has not given up on us and even envisions that we may actually know who they are in “fifteen years or so”.

I was going to do a big lengthy response to this but I seem to have gone blind with rage. But fortunately, the guys at summed it up perfectly. Enjoy.


  1. I think I’ve “watched” TMZ once, by which I mean the show I actually wanted to watch on the same channel wasn’t on yet but I wanted background noise while I concentrated on other stuff. This TMZ clip is not exactly encouraging me to change my viewing habits any.

    I’m of the opinion that it was literally inconceivable to the TMZ staff that anyone would offer a celebrity an iota of privacy when said celeb is out in public. (Of course, that does beg the question — if nobody took pictures, where did that featured picture come from?) Yay for though!

  2. Never watched TMZ, but anything that remotely deals with celebrity gossip I tend to dislike. I have a STRONG hatred for paparazzi, and I wish there strict limitations put on them. They are AWFUL people, and god forbid I ever have to deal with them (Me? Famous? HA! I can dream…;-;). I really REALLY hate them. So much.

    And this is just a testament to how STUPID celebrity gossip people are. They don’t know anything outside of America because “lolmuricamattersmost” and I just…I need to go cool down. I need to step away from the computer. xD

  3. That video is how everyone should react to a passing celebrity, especially those that have their family with them.

    I can’t stress enough how satisfying it is to kill a paparazzi in Grand Theft Auto V though.

  4. O__O Wow. Never had a high opinion of TMZ before, but man… That’s not cool AT ALL. Is it REALLY that inconceivable that celebrities can walk around like human beings without being harassed wherever they go? It’s just common decency, especially when they’re with their young children. It’s not that NO ONE in the country (or immediate area) knew who they were; the witnesses just knew BETTER than to approach en masse (or had better things to do). More than a little face-palming (“15 years,” what??). =\ The response video was beautiful, though. XD

  5. To answer you question Mouse, from the Weird and Wild book of Creatures

    Beyonce (mammal)

    An omnivorous mammal of the genus Homo and especially of the species H. sapiens. It is never found in the wild, and hunts in large packs. It often makes a screeching noise that is used to repel would be predators, and lure unsuspecting prey. Such prey animals are often grouped around a Beyonce. It’s hair coloring varies, from a sandy brown, to darker colors.

    Sightings have been seen all over the world, and if found, should be avoided as best as possible. If you come into contact with a Beyonce, it is best to back away slowly and retreat indoors. Do not let kids play with a Beyonce, as they tend to become prey animals.

  6. Errr, Neil, I didn’t want to comment until I was done with the Make Mine Music video (basically I made the worst choice in my life by using a different video editor, it may take more than just a few days this time…), but I had to tell you the following:

    They’re making a third Cars movie. Yes. They’re actually. Making. Cars. Three.

    …Oh, and The Incredibles 2! Isn’t that just great.

    And now I disappear in the whiteness of wordpress’ background…

      1. We all feel your pain, brother. If you’re reviewing the third movie, I think you’ve tortured yourself enough. Having seen 2 mediocre films in a franchise is more than enough. If the third film surprises us all, we’re all in luck. If not, fight back with the power of whatever the fuck your weapons are.

  7. I’ll right away take hold of your rss feed as I can not find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or
    e-newsletter service. Do you have any? Please allow me understand
    so that I may subscribe. Thanks.

  8. Ha ha, gotta love those silly media folk who find the idea of manners alien. As alien as a “black” person to a couple of Irish guys (I’ve been places where someone Beyonce’s colour would be dubbed “princess whitey”). Also, love the mispronunciation of their names. I remember reading her name “BEE-ons” before I heard her name too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s