jay z

Help me out guys, a Beyonce is what now?

America, I love you. I do. Love your movies, your music, the powdered wigs of your founding fathers and I have never met an American who was not a thoroughly decent skin. But this TMZ shit has got to stop. Seriously, you guys need to cut that out.

So if you can’t see the video, it basically consists of the barking seals of TMZ expressing shock and disbelief that Jay-Z and Beyonce were able to take their daughter for a walk in the Phoenix Park in Dublin without getting mobbed. Clearly, the only reason could be (and yeah, the gobshite who suggests this in the video does seem to be Irish himself) was because these poor potato munchers didn’t know who my man Hove and Queen B actually are. Not because, you know, hassling celebrities when they’re out with their kids is kind of a shitty thing to do. No clearly there’s something wrong with us. Like, as a nation. But worry not, TMZ has not given up on us and even envisions that we may actually know who they are in “fifteen years or so”.

I was going to do a big lengthy response to this but I seem to have gone blind with rage. But fortunately, the guys at Collegetimes.com summed it up perfectly. Enjoy.