I won’t lie guys, that exclamation mark frickin’ terrified me. Unless a movie is a prestigey old-timey musical, an exclamation point has no place in its title. You know what other independently produced CGI movie has an exclamation point in its title?
Fortunately, Hoodwinked! is not as bad as The Abomination and it’s not even the worst movie I’ve reviewed this year (although that is more an indictment of the year than an endorsement of the movie).
So what is Hoodwinked!?
Gah, see, this is the problem with having an exclamation point in the title. It looks like I’m screaming in panic.
Now Hoodwinked! was a movie that I was tangentially aware of. I’d never watched it, but I’d occasionally see it across the crowded room that is the modern animation landscape. And it would wink at me. And I would pretend I hadn’t noticed because it looked like the ugliest fucking Shrek rip-off I had ever seen and there wasn’t enough booze in the world for me to go home with it. But, like anyone who creates content on the internet for long enough, soon enough you find yourself doing things you never would have imagined doing. I watched Hoodwinked!
I have questions.
So, firstly, I don’t know if you know, but this movie is kind of a big deal. This film is sort of the Secret of Nimh of CGI movies. It was one of the very first attempts to create an independent feature length computer animated film. Like Nimh, Hoodwinked! was created in a single house by a small team, without the backing of a distributor and for a positively miniscule budget. Unlike Nimh, it looks like hot garbage. Also unlike Nimh, it was a massive success, earning its budget back tenfold and clearing the way for an avalanche of CGI films made outside of the Pixar/Disney/Dreamworks Triumvirate.
I can’t hear you.
Why did it make so much dollah? Well some-BAHDY once told me…
Yeah, Shrek really did just create a market for crass CGI fairy tale parodies out of frickin’ nowhere. But I don’t think it’s fair to say that Hoodwinked!’s rather breathtaking success was purely due to riding Shrek’s filthy, flatulent coat-tails. Now, Hoodwinked! is no critical darling. It may have offended some of the blue noses at Rotten Tomatoes with its cocky stride and musky odours. But it does have a fairly devoted cult following and having seen it I can sort of understand why.
The movie was written by stand-up comedian Corey Edwards and it really feels like a script written by a stand-up comedian. Because in terms of structure and plot it’s a shaggy mess of a thing but, fair is fair, it is quite funny.
The movie is based on Little Red Riding Hood, perhaps the last really big name fairy tale that Disney never got around to leaving their indelible stamp on. The movie aims to update the story into a snarky irreverent laff-fest with a contemporary sensibility which was a real novel idea when Tex Avery did it in 1943.
Our story begins with Little Red Riding Hood arriving at Granny’s house only to find someone with larger eyes, ears and teeth in her bed than might be expected. Also this person is wearing a granny mask forged from pure nightmares.
Okay, let’s tackle the elephant in the room. The animation. It’s…yeah, it’s pretty bad. And no, not, “bad because it was made in 2005”. This is around the level of something like The Adventures of André and Wally B. from 1984. The movement’s stiff, the character designs are largely either generic or hideously ugly or both and the textures have an awful plastic quality. But…
It’s also kind of an amazing achievement? See, this animation wasn’t made by animators. Or, at least, not by animators with experience working in CGI. The animators were literally being trained in how to use the software as they were making the movie. And I gotta say, if this was my first attempt at making computer animation?
I dunno, I’d be pretty proud of that!
Okay, Red comes into Granny’s cottage, they do the whole “what big eyes/ears/teeth” rigmarole, the wolf attacks the girl, Granny bursts out of the closes bound and gagged and then the woodsman bursts through the window waving an axe.
Cut to black.
Later that night, the police have been called, led by a frog named Detective Nicky Flippers and the police chief, a bear named Ted Grizzly.
So it’s at this point that the movie reveals it’s doing a Rashomon. Each character gets interrogated by the police in turn and with each new perspective we learn more until finally we know the truth.
Before we go any further, let’s talk about that cast because holy shit. Patrick Warburton as the Wolf. Anne Hathaway as Little Red Riding Hood. Jim Belushi as the Woodsman. David Ogden Stiers as Flippers. Glen Close as Granny!? And of course, the modern Olivier, Xzibit himself, as Chief Grizzly.
And see, I think this is what saves the movie and lifts it to the point where, while you can’t exactly say that it’s good, you can’t just dismiss it as a train-wreck either. Nothing with Patrick Warburton’s dry cool delivery will ever be unwelcome in my home.
Red is the first to tell her story. We see her in flashback, cycling through the woods delivering goodies for Granny. Now, trust me, as a seasoned veteran of cheap-as-chips animation, when you hear the music starting up and realise that the movie is going to have a song…
Which is why I am stunned to report that the songs in Hoodwinked! are…kinda good? For example, our first song, Great Big World. I mean, it’s not Sondheim or anything but it’s pleasant, it bops along, the lyrics are catchy and Anne Hathaway has just the sweetest voice.
Little Red Riding Hood meets Boingo the Bunny (Andy Dick) who’s just lost his job with the Muffin Man (you know the Muffin Man?) because his recipes were stolen by the mysterious “Goodie Bandit”. As Red continues on her way she realises that all the local bakeries and sweet shops have gone out of business. Deciding that it’s too dangerous for her to hold on to Granny’s Recipes she makes her way into the forest on a cable car driven by Boingo. She falls out of the cable car and meets the Wolf who acts real stranger-danger until she screams and runs off. Making her way through the forest she came across a shack owned by a goat named Japheth who sings our second song, Be Prepared.
They ride Japheth’s mining car to Granny’s but when the cart gets thrown into the air Red sees a vision of Granny in the sky who tells her to “use the hood” and she does, safely parachuting to the ground. She arrives at Granny’s house and it all plays out like we saw in the opening.
Now, it’s time for the wolf’s interrogation and he reveals that he’s actually an investigative reporter and that he and his assistant, a helium voiced squirrel named Twitchy, were actually searching for the Goody Bandit. The wolf has come to suspect Granny as being the Goody Bandit as she’s the only business still operating. He and Twitchy meet up with Boingo who offers to show them a short cut to Granny’s House. Despite getting lost and almost run over by Japheth’s mine carts, they reach Granny’s House before Red Riding Hood. We learn that the Granny Mask the wolf was wearing was actually official Granny merchandise that she just had laying around the house.
Little Red Riding Hood comes in and we’re all caught up.
It’s times for the Woodsman’s story and you know what, we’re going to skip it. It’s dumb and it adds nothing.
Granny’s turn now and she reveals that the reason she’s actually been living a double life as an Extreme Sports Athlete (my god that is the ultimate early 2000’s joke). While competing in a snowboarding race, another team was hired by the Good Bandit to bump her off. She escaped and parachuted home (which is how Red saw her in the sky) but she got tangled in her own parachute and locked in the closet.
Realising that none of these idiots is actually the Bandit, Flippers releases them. Red feels betrayed because Granny was always over protective of her while she was secretly out risking her life. She goes for a mopey walk to the strains of Red is Blue by Ben Folds which, again, is so much better than I was expecting for this movie.
Red stumbles across the Goody Bandit in the middle of a heist and it turns out to be Boingo the Rabbit, who’s planning on using the stolen recipes to create a fast food empire selling super-addictive goodies. She gets captured but is rescued by the wolf, Granny, Twitchy and the Woodsman who also figured out that Boingo was behind everything that happened to them. The cops arrive, Boingo is taken away to jail, we get the mandatory implied prison rape joke (okay, no, that’s the ultimate early 2000’s joke).
And the movie ends with Red, the wolf, Twitchy and Granny being recruited into Flippers’ detective agency.
***
I think you need a kind of “school play” mindset going into this film. I’ve been to school plays where, okay sure, it’s not a professional level production but the kids are acting and singing their hearts out, they clearly worked really hard on the set and the teacher actually did some interesting things with the choreography. And when you get into the head-space of thinking “wow, they actually worked really hard on this” it can become a lot more enjoyable than many more technically competent, professional productions. And, let me remind you: This cost an estimated 8 million dollars compared to Foodfight!’s estimated $60 MILLION.
Scoring
Animation: 02/20
I’m not trying to be mean here, guys.
Leads: 11/20
Between them the female leads of this movie have ten Academy Award nominations. God damn.
Villain: 09/20
Andy Dick is a suitably wascally wabbit.
Supporting Characters: 12/20
I mean. It’s Patrick Frickin’ Warbourton and David Frickin’ Ogden Frackin’ Stiers. And Xzibit as a bear.
Music: 14/20
The soundtrack has no damn business being as good as it is.
FINAL SCORE: 48%
NEXT UPDATE: 15 JUNE 2023
NEXT TIME: Riddle me this…
unshavedmouse 
Honestly, it doesn’t sound too bad. Although you did entirely excise the woodman’s story, which is worrying, so maybe it’s worse than it sounds. Anyway, thanks for the review, and hope you feel better. 😁
Thanks DJ. It’s not too bad!
Long-time reader, first-time commenter
I just want it on the record that Japeth the goat is voiced by a man named Benjy Gaither. Benjy is better known for being responsible for two REALLY BAD pieces of CGI animation – Gaither’s Pond (1997) and Dorbees: Making Decisions (1998). The latter is essentially a pilot for a show that can only be described as “VeggieTales if you replaced both the cast and the writing staff with small colourful blobs”, which was never commissioned. I haven’t seen the former, but I have seen pictures of the fish in it, and I very much regret it.
Welcome to the comments section !
I don’t know why but I so vividly remember seeing trailers and posters and billboards for this one when it came out. Same goes for the sequel. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the full thing but I’ve seen enough of it to draw basically the same conclusion you did. Definite respect to it though now that I now the background of it being the first major independently produced CGI film.
Forever review should be fun, another of those movies that has a lot of issues but I do like, though am kind of surprised you’re skipping Mask of the Phantasm.
Yeah, I’m going to do the animated ones eventually but focusing on live action for now
This came out when I was in college, my roommate rented it once. Other than Patrick Warburton being in it, I don’t remember much. Looks like it might be worth another watch though.
Batman Forever is proof that young me was an idiot. When I was 10 it was the Greatest Movie Ever, far better than the other two, and even more than the cartoon show! That’s…not an opinion that has stuck with me, thankfully.
You know what, having rewatched it I think it’s better than people give it credit for.
Oh, I still have a soft spot for it, it’s a fun movie. But I seriously thought it was the greatest movie ever for a year or two.
Dad and I enjoyed this movie. Mainly that was Warburton’s performance, and Dad was happy at how quickly he figured out Boingo did it.
“Now Hoodwinked! was a movie that I was tangentially aware of.”
Good description, I remember seeing ads for this back in the day but since it was 2005 and I was still in my “I’m in high school, I’m too cool for cartoons” phase, it didn’t interest me. Plus, the animation looking cheap didn’t help.
But by goodness, the premise alone is definitely something that’s worth a second look. Little Red Riding Hood given the Rashomon-Style story telling? That alone harkens back to the Fractured Fairy Tales segment from Rocky and Bullwinkle. If this sort of plot was done again with a tighter script and better animation I would absolutely be down for that.
Side note: I already knew Anne Hathaway could sing on account of a guest appearance she did for the Simpsons. That and she pretty much had to carry the duets she did with Jesse Eisenberg in “Rio.”
Anyone who doesn’t know Hathaway can sing hasn’t seen Les Miserables and is missing out.
C’est vrai.
I was also aware of this movie, but never felt like watching it. Even when you said you were gonna review it and I tried to watch it beforehand, I could find no way to watch it without paying for it, and I would never pay to watch this.
“Nothing with Patrick Warburton’s dry cool delivery will ever be unwelcome in my home.”
Might I remind you Mr. Warburton was in Home on the Range?
In his review on Home on the Range he praised Warburton and was sad he did not get more screentime. He begged the movie to drop all the other characters and just focus on him.
Yeah! I totally hadn’t forgotten that. Great continuity there
Mouse, you seen the new Spider-Verse yet? Won’t spoil a thing but to say it’s one hell of a trip.
Going today!
I have such fond memories of this movie. I love the gag with Twitchy being recorded and played back. I even like the schnitzel song.
This happened to come out in tv today and I watched because of this review. And because my brother was obsessed with this as a is and I like mysteries. Very nostalgic even if I have not seen it prior since it’s so specifically this era film.
Yeah, this is kinda Hoodwinked’s whole thing: It’s just…Funny. Like, really fucking funny. And that manages to carry it a little, even if its animation looks like a PS2 cutscene.
I believe the Latin Spanish dub elevated this movie even more. It added in a lot of jokes and references, and the movie was a hit throughout Latam. I remember it very fondly even though I haven’t rewatched it in years because, yes, the animation is terrible.
Great review as usual Mouse!
Fellow LatAm/IberAm here! I have precisely also seen this movie in its American Spanish dub!
Hello there my fellow Spanish speaker 😀
Never seen it, but I do know that the sequel is widely hated. Who’s the turtle guy in the picture of bad cgi movies?
Ah Delgo. You must look up Delgo.
Psst, Mouse, It’s me, the Owl again.
As I kept reading you blog, I saw that you kept mentioning a Song of the South review. Well, I clicked on the links you provided, but saw that that page didn’t exist anymore.
From your readers’ comments, it seems that in 2021 some of your posts were deleted.
Fortunately, human ingenuity is never-ending and ever-provides tools and ways for those want them and who know where to look and how to use them (which may be just another way of saying that I’m a stubborn, crafty guy who hardly knows when to give up), and so it was that, thanks to the fact that there at least remains a link to a page, even if it no longer exists, I could at least manage to copy that link, go to the Internet Archive’s Wayback Machine. enter that link, and finally see that much-vaunted-about review. And I feel much obliged to say: thank God for the Wayback Machine.
I have now finished the Song of the South review, but my curiosity remains ticked: which other reviews were lost? I know, if the site’s comments are not wrong, that you have at least done a review for an animated version of Titanic, a wild film that is the very embodyment of you-have-to-see-it-to-believe-it.
And thus it is that I have come to you to ask you to tell me which posts used to exist on this site but not anymore and how to find them, if I so choose. I’d appreciate it if you did.
And also, keep up the good work, Mouse!
Yours truly,
Owlay
That is really weird. Maybe because I used my phone? I dunno. Okay, short answer: no, there are no more lost reviews. A few years back after…certain events, I decided I needed to lock down the Song of the South review and give it a once over. It was written around ten years ago now and, while I don’t think there’s anything in it that a fair minded person would take issue with, I just wanted to be sure. I’ve never gotten around to revising it, partially because I’ve been so busy, and partially because reading my early stuff makes me break out in hives.
Okay.
Thank you so much for the information, Mouse!
i recall asking you about that once and you said it would go back up shortly, but i understand why you didn’t. fwiw, i read it recently via archive.org and i don’t think there’s anything untoward in it either.
Oh yeah, and about this particular film and review,
I did saw it on DVD, not too long after it was released and in my local language dub (I was a kid then). In my opinion, it presents quite some interesting twists on the well-known fairy-tale. And as for the animation, I am completely in sync with what you say about it.
This line in particular has become firmly lodged in my memory ever since I saw it:
“Don’t aCt like a woodsman. BE a woodsman!” (I think that’s how it goes)
I personally think it’s a line all of us who have an interesting in acting should remember.
Musicals and Zucker Bros films
Both are the exception to the ! rule
Truth
Um, Mouse, what happened to my question?
I’ve asked you if you used to have any posts on this site that used to be here but not any longer.
Sorry for the delay, answered the original question now.
Um, Mouse?
Would you mind explaining exactly WHERE is that answer you have purported to give to me? I’m afraid to say that I don’t see it either here or in my Gmail feed.
Dear Mouse, having seen ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE I can confirm that you’re going to need Lord Byron again: as it’s the first half of a two-parter I prefer to withhold judgement beyond that, but my first impressions are mixed (Hence my preferring to hold off on a final opinion).
I have to be honest, I’m kind of disappointed that you were so lukewarm on this. This was always one of my most underrated animated films to me, since I found it at Family Video in 2007. (Yes, I am that fucking old, and I recall the animation actually did look decent then, at least to an 11-year-old.)
I always loved the Rashomon format, though I didn’t know much about that movie at the time. I just liked the concept of showing things from multiple characters’ perspectives and how it illustrates the need to see multiple points of view because of how much can be obscured or be misunderstood by only one person’s.
I even used the format for my first story in my full-length book of short stories to dress up another story I had come up with years earlier that was its own take-off on another cartoon, an episode of the Disney show Teacher’s Pet, to be specific. But hopefully there was some originality in it, lol.
The only thing I didn’t like about this was the last act. The villain reveal is fun (I’m amazed you didn’t say anything mocking/riffing on the obviousness of it if you’re not a kid; but then it didn’t stop my sister from yelling “It’s little Red!” when we see the villain wearing the red hood she obviously left behind earlier), but after that there’s not much that can really be done with the story. It’s pretty obvious the filmmakers weren’t interested in the story outside of what they could work out to weave the multiple perspectives, and everything just wraps up the way you would expect, because it has to in order for the movie to end. But before that point it is at least fun and the movie itself really is an admirable experiment, especially when you consider its low budget and lack of precedent.