Reader’s requests

Coraline (2009)

(DISCLAIMER: This blog is not for profit. All images and footage used below are property of their respective companies unless stated otherwise. I do not claim ownership of this material. New to the blog? Start at the start with Snow White.)

"Tell me vat happened, Mouse. In your own vords."

“Tell me vat happened, Mouse. In your own vords.”

"Paper Alchemist...it was her fault! She told me to watch it...I thought she was my friend. Those eyes. Button eyes..."

“Paper Alchemist…it was her fault! She told me to watch it…I thought she was my friend. Those eyes. Button eyes…”

"I don't understand. You had made such fine progress. Ven last ve spoke you had overcome your fear of Pinocchio and were reviewing the entire Disney canon. You seemed in good mental health. Vat triggered zis relapse?"

“I don’t understand. You had made such fine progress. Ven last ve spoke you had overcome your fear of Pinocchio and were reviewing ze entire Disney canon. You seemed in good mental health. Vat brough on zis relapse?”

"Pinocchio? That's right. I used to be afraid of that movie. God, I was a fool."

“Pinocchio? That’s right. I used to be afraid of that movie. God, I was a fool.”

HELLO!

HELLO!

"Hey."

“Hey.”

"Then tell me, Mouse. What triggered zis episode?"

“Then tell me, Mouse. What triggered zis episode?”

"I remember it like it was yesterday. When in fact, it was the day before yesterday. I'd finally decided to start reviewing non-Disney movies regularly. Walt tried to warn me against it..."

“I remember it like it was yesterday. When in fact, it was the day before yesterday. I’d finally decided to start reviewing non-Disney movies regularly. Walt tried to warn me against it…”

"You're a fool mouse! Everytime you review a non-Disney movie you invite terrible doom!"

“You’re a fool Mouse! Everytime you review a non-Disney movie you invite terrible doom!”

"But I thought it'd be fine! After all, I reviewed Nightmare Before Christmas at Halloween and nothing bad happened!"

“But I thought it’d be fine! After all, I reviewed Nightmare Before Christmas at Halloween and nothing bad happened!”

"Ja...of course."

“Ja…of course.”

"You don't know that!"

“You don’t know that!”

"I am sorry, zis is a private session. I will have to ask you to leave."

“I am sorry, zis is a private session. I vill have to ask you to leave.”

"And who the stuttering fuck might you be?"

“And who the stuttering fuck might you be?”

"I am Herr Doktor Ernst Fiedelman. I am ze Mouse's psychoanalysist."

“I am Herr Doktor Ernst Fiedelman. I am ze Mouse’s psychoanalyst.”

"Fiedelman? What is that, Jewish?"

“Psychoanalyses? Mouse why are you wasting your time with this flim flam? Some good old fashioned voodoo is all you need, where’s my cauldron?”

"Out."

“Out.”

"I think I am beginning to understand. You reviewed a movie horrific enough to undo years of intensive psychoanalysis. Something by Adam Sandler I am guessing?"

“I think I am beginning to understand. You reviewed a movie horrific enough to undo years of intensive psychoanalysis. Something by Adam Sandler I am guessing, ja?”

"Nein. Coraline."

“Nein. Coraline.”

"Mein Gott!"

“Mein Gott! Mouse, ve have no choice. You must face your fear, and talk me through the review. Only then can we undo the psychological damage.”

"Really? Because that sounds like it would make things so much worse."

“Really? Because that sounds like it would make things so much worse.”

"Ve're talking fifty fifty either vay. Now begin!"

“Ve’re talking fifty fifty either vay. Now begin!”

Well. Okay. Here we. go. Coraline.

(more…)

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO DONATED!

Well everyone, that wraps her up and I am delighted to say that thanks in large part you guys we have reached our funding target for Joanna! And now I can freely admit that there never was such a play, and I am absconding to Mexico with your donations to live like a filthy pirate king. Good times.

In the meantime though, here is the list of people who donated and an approximate date for your review to go up. As I said in an earlier post, I will try to keep to this schedule but sickness, holidays, computer failures or family emergencies may result in your review getting pushed back and if it does, lo siento mucho. Also, while I did originally say I would be putting up the names of the movies people requested but I think it might be more fun to surprise you at the end of each review so instead I’ve put down the date, the name of the donor and my first reaction on being asked to review that movie. Here we go.

30 January 2014- Amelia Mellor (Oooh. Heard it’s really good.)

27 February 2014- Ryen Rasmus (Oh FUCK YEAH!)

13 March 2014- Michael Tyndall (Ugh.)

27 March 2014- Alan Fowley Doyle (AAAAAAAARRRGGHH)

24 April 2014- James Egan (Ah, that’ll cleanse the palette.)

05 June 2014- Ian Tait Doak (Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…I am thirty fucking years old I should not be this excited.)

03 July 2014- Darragh Ó Bradáin (Okay, you are one of my oldest friends so I will review this movie for you even though it’s not actually an animation and also I did have the theme music played at my wedding reception so okay.)

31 July 2014- Andrew Russell(TETSUO!!!! KANEDAAAAAAAA!!!!)

11 September 2014- Fleur Farwaji (No, no, no, look I can’t review another live action movie you’re donating how much? Okay then.)

09 October 2014- Eamonn Sharpson (You’re lucky you’re my brother or I would punch you in the mouth.)

20 November 2014- Lurking Lurker (Sorry, looks like it’ll be your second choice. Couldn’t find a non dodgy/legal/inexpensive way of getting your first choice)

04 December 2014- Callie Arendt (Yeah. I’ve known I’d have to do this one since the Aladdin review.)

18 December 2014- Veronica Trump (So it’s The Big Sleep with cartoon cats?)

01 January 2015- Zoe Faulder (I really hope Zoe picks a movie otherwise this will be a really dull review.)

15 January 2015-  Conor Kelly (Haven’t seen it but I think this one may cause me to chop onions.)

29 January 2015- Úna Hennessy (Studio Ghibli is always a safe bet, right?)

12 February 2015 – Daniel Austin (They may not dance, but they sure as hell can play the keyboard.)

26 February 2015- Melissa Gola (When they find out I think this one is overrated I am so dead.)

12 March 2015- Sean Egan (How the hell am I supposed to do a funny review of a movie with no dialogue?)

26 March 2015- Juha Tilli (God I hope I can track down a Region 2 copy of this before then.)

09 April 2015- Juha Tilli (again) (What the..What and the Midsummer What?..Huh?!)

23 April 2015- Esther Ní Dhonnacha (Oh God…Ireland’s curse.)

07 May 2015- Chinyere Breitner-Nwizuzu (What is that? A Francis Ford Coppola Yakuza movie?)

21 May 2015- Samantha Doyle (So it’s back to the Bluthiverse…)

04 June 2015- Jacob Charlet (I will review this movie. Because I’m an athlete.)

18 June 2015- Juha Tilli, who by this stage is basically executive producer of this thing. (Ducktales Woohoo!)

02 July 2015- Jennifer Seggio (My, don’t we like to cut things fine?)

***

Now, these are the people who’ve specifically requested a review. If you donated but didn’t get around to asking me for a review and would like one please let me know in the comments and I’ll add you to the list. Or if you did ask me for a review and it somehow slipped through my meticulous filing system (ha!) again, let me know and I’ll fix it. And lastly, if you wanted to request a review and didn’t get a chance this time, don’t worry. I’m pretty sure I’ll be doing this again next year as Mexico is surprisingly expensive we’ll probably be doing another production which I’ll tell you about closer to the time. Anyway, thanks so much to everyone who donated on behalf of myself, my wife and the cast of Joanna. I promise we will work our asses off to make this play the best that it can be and to justify your support and faith in us. Thanks guys.

Mouse