Disney Reviews with the Unshaved Mouse #10: Melody Time

DISCLAIMER: This blog is not for profit. All images used below are property of the Walt Disney Corporation unless stated otherwise. I do not claim ownership of this material.

You can listen to an audio version of this review HERE

***

Goddamit, No! No, I have had enough. I cannot do another one of these package films. You can’t make me. You want to know about Melody Time? Wikipedia this mother. See that description? “Mildly successful”. I ask you, has anyone ever wanted to read a review of a movie that was “mildly” anything? No! You either want to see me praise a classic to the heavens or grind some misbegotten abomination into the dirt. No one reads three star reviews. No one wants to hear about movies that are “fine”. You want my review of Melody Time? It’s Make Mine Music but not as good. There. Read the Make Mine Music review and induce a mild sense of disappointment. See you next week.

Ugh.

Alright fine. I’m doing this. But you owe me, people. For starters, get me a sandwich.

Lettuce? What am I, on a diet?

Okay, okay Melody Time. Melody Time. What can I saw about Melody Time? Specifically, what can I say about Melody Time that I have not already said about the other Never Heard of ‘Ems? I could literally describe the circumstances of its creation and its basic structure and you would not be able to tell whether I was talking about Make Mine Music or this film. Except, this was made in 1948 and most of the good ideas had already gone into Make Mine Music. You see, that’s the problem. You’ll recall I actually quite liked Make Mine Music, but this is just more of the same and it’s pretty forgettable all in all. But, screw it. Let’s get on with it.

We get the opening credits and, I gotta be honest, a pretty weak sauce opening theme song. I only bring up the credits because…well look at the name here on the bottom right…

“Oh sweetie. Our little boy is going to have to live with the shame of being called “Putnam”.”
“No wife. He will have a first name so awesome that it shall overshadow his weak-ass surname. From this day forth he shall be THOR!!”

The first segment is Once upon A Wintertime which begins with an unnamed Boy and Girl riding their sleigh through your typical Christmas card setting.

Apparently being drawn by…mutant giraffes? I’ve seen better anatomy from Rob Liefeld.

They pick up a pair of rabbits who hitch a lift on their sleigh and pass a lake with couples skating together.

Along with Doctor Love here. Look at that mustachioed bastard.

Boy and Girl skate around and the two rabbits do the same while Frances Langford sings the title song and oh my God this is the whitest thing I have ever seen in my life. I think we may have found the cause of the fifties, people. This is where it all went down. This movie was patient zero.

Anyway, Girl storms off when Boy accidentally sprays her with snow (not going to make a joke and you are an awful person) and the Girl Rabbit does the same to the Boy Rabbit. Boy is understandably upset at this.

Dude, relax. She has no nose. It’s not like she has a lot of options.

But then, the laws of cartoon physics take their brutal toll. As we all know, if cartoon characters are on ice, that ice has to crack, and Girl and Girl Rabbit suddenly find themselves stranded on an ice floe in the middle of a raging river. I mentioned that they were skating on a lake, right? You remember that? Fool! That means you were paying attention! And the penalty is torture!

Again sister! Spare not the lash!

So not only is the frozen lake now a raging torrent of death but, you must surely have guessed, it’s headed for a waterfall. Ah, not to worry. It’s only around as tall as Angel Falls.

Never mind the waterfall, they should be dead from lack of oxygen at that altitude.

Boy and Boy Rabbit attempt to rescue their other halves but fail rather spectacularly and the two females have to be saved by the two hideously deformed horses and some squirrels and bluebirds and whatnot and what have you. You know, the usual Disney forest detritus. Apparently though, Boy and Boy Rabbit get an A for effort and the two couples reunite and all is well. This didn’t really do much for me, I have to say. Too cutesy, a little bland and some rather irritating continuity errors.

Much better is Bumble Boogie, which features a bumblebee trying to escape your typical run-of-the-mill Disney acid trip.

Oh yeah, that’s the look. He’s been to Bahia.

What lifts this short a level above the rest is the music, an awesome, jazzy rendition of Rimsky-Korsakov’s Flight of the Bumblebee by the Freddy Martin orchestra. But the animation is fine, and it’s well integrated with the music. Thank you Bumble Boogie, you have granted me a brief reprieve from encroaching ennui.

The Legend of Johnny Appleseed. The Legend of Johnny Appleseed. Hmmmmm. John Chapman, the real Johnny Appleseed, was a fascinating individual. He was a pioneer and missionary who won the respect and friendship of many Native American tribes, and who’s planting of apple nurseries throughout the American frontier greatly aided the early settlers. Also, he was a vegetarian, in a time when that was liable to get you burned as a witch.

“But I’m only an ovo-lacto witch!”

Disney’s take on Chapman’s life is…worrying. What I mean is, there is a certain perception of Disney movies: Safe, inoffensive, bland, almost aggressively wholesome. 

Safe.

Inoffensive.

Bland.

Wholesome.

Yeah, in my experience, not so much. But with The Legend of Johnny Appleseed and Once Upon a Wintertime I’m starting to see that side of Disney and I’m really hoping that it’s not indicative of the movies to come. Don’t get me wrong, The Legend of Johnny Appleseed is not bad. It’s a well-animated, professionally done short. It’s just, all the way through this cartoon I kept hearing this sound:

Yaaaaaaay!

It’s that kind of wholesome.

Next up is Little Toot.

Okay, well we’re off to a good start. It’s a song by the always awesome Andrews Sisters, about a little tug boat named Little Toot who lives with his father Big Toot in a world of sentient anthropomorphic tug boats wait just a damn minute here!

Oh my God. Robert D. Cardona and David Mitton, you whores!

Okay, that picture up there is from an old British children’s TV show called Tugs (American readers might know it as Salty’s Lighthouse). I only saw a few episodes but if I had to sum it up then essentially; “Grim and Gritty Thomas the Tank Engine. With boats.” 

Did he say grim and gritty Thomas the Tank En… SPLAT

It was created in the late eighties by Robert D. Cardona and David Mitton, the creators of Thomas the Tank Engine and in fairness was a far superior show, with some stunning model and set design. And it was also, apparently, the work of filthy, filthy thieves.

Look, usually when I pull out the old “You whore!” running gag I’m pointing out coincidental similarities rather than making an actual accusation of plagiarism. But here? Your Honour I present Exhibit A:

And Exhibit B:

In short, M’lud…

J’ACCUSE!

Anyway, back to the short. Little Toot is kinda a hoodlum. He’s always making trouble for the other boats, getting in their way and trolling them. Finally, after a close call with five-oh, he decides to straighten up and fly right and tries to help his dad pull a cruise ship. Unfortunately, he doesn’t really get how boats work (despite, you know, being one) and pushes the rudder which causes the cruise ship to veer out of control. Oh that Little Toot! What shenanigans will he get up to next…JESUS!

OH THE HUMANITY!

Yeah, there’s no way the death toll from that is less than three figures. But, okay, let’s not get carried away. I mean, it was an accident, and he meant well. Plus, he’s a minor! Let’s go easy on him…aaaaand they’re exiling him to die on the open sea. And sentencing his father to a life pulling garbage scows. These Tugs have a legal code than makes the Old Testament look namby-pamby.

So Little Toot is left adrift on the great ocean, being menaced by sinister buoys that whisper “Bad Boy” as he passes, which is scary. But they’re whispering “Bad Boy” in the voices of the Andrews Sisters, which is fucking HOT. Then there’s a storm, and it looks like he’s going to sink. But he comes across a cruise liner in distress. He radios an SOS and manages to pull the ship to safety after getting zapped by lightning.

BY THE POWER OF PUTNAM!

So, since the number of people he saved is probably in the neighbourhood of the number of people he killed, Little Toot is deemed a hero and they all live happily ever after.

Finally! This is a really good short, funny, dark and with a really catchy song by the Andrews Sisters.

Only minor quibble is that they reuse a lot of character models and animation, but otherwise very good.

Next is Trees, which is the Joyce Kilmer poem set to music and animation. It’s another one of those long, slow pieces that I complained about so much in the Make Mine Music review, but honestly this is a gorgeous piece. The animation of the various animals is done in a much more photorealistic style than is usual for Disney and is very, very beautiful.

I mean, look at this.

Then it’s time for Blame it on the Samba. This cartoon begins with Donald Duck and José Carioca wandering through no. No. No.

Not doing it.

I don’t care. No. I’m done. I’m sitting this one out. I’m on break. I don’t want to play anymore. I’m taking my ball and going home. I’m out. I am so done with José Carioca and the Samba and the dancing with the live action women and the surreal bullshit…

God, I’m already getting the Caballeros flashbacks!

NO! Not doing it.

I’m just going to review another movie until this short is over.

Oliver Stone’s JFK is a paradox. On the one hand, it’s a fantastic example of the filmmaker’s craft, beautifully shot, evocatively scored and with a fantastic script filled with quotable dialogue and fascinating characters. It is also an intensely troubling work, replete with falsehoods masquerading as fact and often veering shamelessly into outright slander against real historical figures, not least President Lyndon Johnson who is baldly accused of complicity in the assassination of…and it’s over. Awesome, moving on.

The last segment is Pecos Bill, which retells the story of the legendary Texan hero. 

Not that one.

After a brief, animated tour of the desert, we segue into a…live…action…scene…

RRRAAAAAAAWWWRRR!!!

HOLY FUCK!!!

Um…where’s the cat?

He’s on holiday. I’m filling in. Did I…did I not do good?

Oh no. You were great. But…um…you can sit this one out.

Okay. You sure?

Yeah. I’m sure. Thanks. Jesus.

So anyway, we have a bunch of live action cowboys singing around a campfire with…oh my God. Luana Patten? 

Hello Mr Mouse.

So, you escaped too? Thank God. After the Giant attacked I was sure I was the only one who got out.

I also thought that you had perished. I am glad to see you survived.

Tell me…do you know if Bergen…?

The last I saw, Charlie McCarthy and the Giant were fighting like wild dogs over his spilled carcass. He’s gone. He will never trouble us again.

I hope so. And yet…I sense something of his evil still lingering on the wind…

Oh yeah, Bobby Driscoll (Johnny in Song of the South) is here too. The cowboys offer to tell the two children the story of Pecos Bill and his horse Widowmaker, which Luana remarks is “a funny name.”

Poor Luana. She’ll never quite be the same again.

The cowboys tell them that Bill and Widowmaker were the best of friends until Bill fell in love with Slue Foot Sue, which leads Bobby to complain “Aw shucks, a woman in the story.”

That’s right Bobby. You keep it macho.

The cowboys draw a map of America on the ground.

In glorious George-W-Bush-O-Vision.

And we begin the animated account of Pecos Bill’s life. It’s a much better take than the Johnny Appleseed segment. Bill starts out as an orphan, falling off a wagon and raised by coyotes in the desert. I’m sorry, by Kai-yotes. In the desert he learns how to outrun the antelope, outleap the rabbit and outhiss the rattlesnake.

And to out MEE-DEEP the Road Runner.

We see him rescuing Widowmaker as a young foal from vultures, and the two become a legendary crime fighting duo like…um…like…

Shit.

It seems like there is a really obvious reference I should be making here. Like…

Legendary crimefighting duo…

Is he fucking serious?

Oh God, this is going to drive me crazy. Legendary crimefighting duo. Legendary crimefighting duo. Laurel and Hardy? No. Siskel and Ebert? No, that’s not it.

Motherfucker makes three hundred Batman references per review and NOW he chooses to let it go by?

A legendary crimefighting duo like…I’ve got it! The Lone Ranger and Silver!

OH YOU ASS…

That does actually work better in this context.

Pecos Bill is a damn fine short, and a good one to end the movie on. It’s also a rare example of the Disney version having a darker ending than the source material. According to the folktakes, Pecos Bill falls in love with Slue Foot Sue, much to the jealousy of Widowmaker. 

I see you baby, shakin that ass.

Sue asks to ride Widowmaker the day before the wedding. I have to give the cartoon credit, Slue Foot Sue is portrayed here as a total badass, riding Widowmaker with ease. But unfortunately, her bustle gets shaken so much that she bounces off and starts bouncing higher and higher until finally she gets bounced to the moon.

In most of the original versions of the folktale, Pecos manages to rescue Sue, but in the cartoon he fails (due to Widowmaker sabotaging his efforts).

Hm. Guess he should have named him “Widowermaker”. Or “Dickhead”.

Sue is stranded, and Pecos spends the rest of his days howling at the moon , with the coyotes, sorry, with the kai-yotes joining him in sympathy. Well, maybe she’ll be alright up there on the moon…

Oh. Right.

SCORING

Animation: 09/20

You take the good, you take the bad, you take ’em both and there you have…a mediocre package film with wildly varying animation quality.

The Leads: 10/20

Little Toot, Johnny Appleseed, Pecos Bill, Donald Duck, Boy and Girl…it’s a very mixed bag.

The Villain: N/A

Well, obviously the warlock José Carioca, but apparently the Disney Corporation is too blind to see that he is the tool of Satan so I just have to pretend that this movie doesn’t have a villain.

Supporting Characters: 06/20

I can’t think of any. So that can’t be good.

Music: 13/20

Some very nice pieces; Little Toot and Bumble Boogie stick out as being especially memorable.

FINAL SCORE: 48%

NEXT WEEK: We’re merrily, merrily, merrily on our way to reviewing The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad.

Neil Sharpson AKA The Unshaved Mouse, is a playwright, comic book writer and blogger living in Dublin. You can follow him on Twitter. The blog updates every Thursday. Thanks for reading!

20 comments

  1. Surprised you didn’t mention the digital editing that removed Pecos Bill’s cigarette. The ciggy played a huge role in one verse of the song (Pecos was lassoing a tornado and decided to roll the tobacco and smoke it while doing so). It’s just edited out, and there’s this weird splice in both the song and the animation.

    I tell ya’, Disney’s self-censorship of its classic animation is both cynical and disingenuous. Song of the South is it’s own story, so we’ll leave that alone. But…they left the Black Crows in Dumbo and the Injuns in Peter Pan because they pretty much had to…and yet–a family shooting each other dead and then cheering on the survivors from the afterlife, a few unfortunate servant centaurs and a badass cowboy’s cigarette are deemed too unfit for society? WTF? The thing is, we’ll never see this animation again. Disney is just going to pretend it doesn’t exist. In the DVD of “Make Mine Music,” The King’s Men are even digitally edited from the opening credits. You can see that awkward blank stair where they used to be credited along with the other musical performers.

    So how do we get the Mouse to re-release the original versions of these movies? Surely it would have to be easier than convincing them to let SotS see the light of day.

  2. Well…the UK Region 2 release apparently happened four days before this post (see my post on the MMM review). I’m guessing it’s uncut. Does the R2 Melody Time happen to have an unedited Pecos Bill sequence?

    1. OK answered my own question about the R2 Melody Time. It is indeed uncensored. No wonder you didn’t mention the missing cigarette or song verse! This makes Disney look even more cynical and stupid for editing the US versions…

  3. So is it uncut? I’m debating whether to get a multi-region DVD player and order the thing. Disney sure as hell isn’t releasing an uncut U.S. version anytime soon.

  4. Another really great review. We always enjoy reading your blog after watching these films. Especially enjoyed the rant during the “Blame It On The Samba” section!

    Very much in agreement with the statement that ‘Melody Time’ is ‘Make Mine Music’ but not as good. I think our opinions differ on the sections themselves, but we still really enjoy your review style nonetheless.

    If you have a spare moment it would be great if you’d check out our “Melody Time” review, which is up now.

  5. Cool review. Melody Time, like Make Mine Music, was actually a movie I do have memories of. I seem to recall it actually being able to hold my interest a bit more than Make Mine Music, possibly due to having only one sequence with zero plot. But hey, this is another start of a classic running Mouse gag! Thor Putnam, yay!

    I’ve gotta say, the random tiger showing up, the utter exasperation at the Jungle Fowl’s return and the Widowermaker caption made me laugh. Nice going, Mr. Mouse, here’s a sandwich. *presents sandwich with many cheeses*

  6. Um, Mr. Unshaven… I haven’t seen all these reviews yet, but I’m already burning up with curiosity about one thing you may or may not have addressed elsewhere: have you ever written about the ultimate Disney hard luck case, the child actor who coulda shoulda had a better future but whom all the adults in the scenery apparently weren’t doing a very good job of looking after, i.e. the unfortunate Bobby Driscoll? Sheesh, we hear all the stories about child actors mostly going on to lead miserable lives, with only a few exceptions (e.g. Ron Howard), but isn’t one sort of inclined to think that Disney Inc. of all companies shouldn’t be home to one of the worst cases of all?

    P.S. I really liked the Donald Duck/José Carioca segment. Especially the prolonged same-gender dance scene. Homoerotica here we come! Shades of the Gay Days at Disneyland controversy, thirty years earlier. Even the animation in that segment seems a bit ahead of its time.

  7. I just think there’s some kind of terrible irony at work here. Walt And Company built their business almost entirely on “child-friendly” products, but behind the scenes, their treatment of actual child actors was, at best, fair-to-middling. At WORST– Bobby Driscoll!– one can’t help but think that Disney Inc. KNEW better than to ignore his personal welfare to the extent they did, but just went ahead and ignored it anyway. If they could groom Kurt Russell for success, couldn’t they have done it earlier for Bobby D?

    Then again, maybe Kurt Russell’s success as an adult had more to do with Kurt himself than it did with Disney. And maybe, as they allude over at minorcon.org, the success stories usually have a lot to do with having a family, like Ron Howard’s family, that cares more about the kid than they do about his paycheck.

    But the Driscolls, from what little I know, don’t seem to have been especially noxious stage parents, so that leaves me with a lot of unanswered questions about whether Walt and his colleagues/subordinates coulda shoulda done more by way of caring supervision.

  8. “Well, obviously the warlock José Carioca, but apparently the Disney Corporation is too blind to see that he is the tool of Satan so I just have to pretend that this movie doesn’t have a villain.”

    The villain is obviously Widowmaker, misogynistic, Karma Houdini murderer supreme.

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