Unshaved Mouse and Erik Copper review: Enchanted

 

(DISCLAIMER: This blog is not for profit. All images and footage used below are property of their respective companies unless stated otherwise. I do not claim ownership of this material. New to the blog? Start at the start with Snow White.)

UM: Hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to Unshaved Mouse, with me tonight is my lovely assitant Erik Copper, say hi to the nice folks Erik.

 

EC: Hi to the nice folks, Erik!

 

UM: Alright, listen buster, you want a corny joke war you got a corny joke war.

 

EC: Oh, trust me, good sir, I am more than proficient in the art of the corny joke. How do the folks over seas say it? “You don’t want nunna this?”

 

UM: They do say that. In England. Which, for me, is also overseas.

 

EC: Ah, yes. “The pond” as I heard it once called. Anyway, there are people reading this post, and I’m sure they heard enough of your corny jokes from the past 47 reviews. Ohhhh! And that is what we Americans call a “sick burn”.

 

UM:  Yes. There are people reading this. Because it is my blog. Key difference. In Ireland, that is what we call “sruthán tinn.”

 

EC: You’ll have to excuse me. I do not speak–

 

UM:  Don’t say Gaelic. Don’t say Gaelic. I warn you. Do not say Gaelic.

 

EC: “Paddy-talk.”

 

UM: Much better. So, before we incite an international incident., how about we talk about Enchanted?

 

EC: Well…From last week’s “next week” preview, I have a feeling your thoughts of this movie might already incite an international incident. I hear you do not like this film?

 

UM: Ah….okay, I may have overstated the case. No, I didn’t. I hate this movie. But I recognise that it’s not bad, and that there’s a lot of good in it. But, I think it’s kind of mediocre and phoned in and really overrated. It’s like American History X for me.

 

EC: But isn’t that part of the charm? It’s supposed to be a parody/deconstruction of the Disney princess motif. And in that respect, I think it does it’s job really well. Showing that the Disney “magic” doesn’t really exist outside of film kind of makes the charm all the more endearing.

 

UM: Well, firstly I don’t think it does it WELL, I think it does it like…competently. Like, it starts with the premise of letting a Disney princess loose in modern day New York, gets the most obvious jokes it can out of it (and don’t get me wrong, just because they’re obvious doesn’t mean they’re not funny), but it never really goes beyond that. It does everything you expect with the concept and not a jot more. And it’s not that noticeable because Amy Adams and James Marsden are giving it so much energy. I mean, they are both really, really appealing in this. That’s why I likened it to American History X, a mediocre movie that people think is great because it has a really good lead performance. Also, it’s about white supremacy.

EC: I’ve never seen American History X, but that description makes me think I might have a Song of the South reaction to the film. While I do see the side of your argument (and believe me, this movie seems to have more sides than an octagon) I think the point of the movie isn’t to give more than what it did. If you think about it, the film’s concept isn’t really all that broad. “Fairy tale in New York” (No, Pogue’s fans, go away). That’s a theme you can’t do much with, because fairy tales are so confined to a certain kind of feel, and real life contrasts with it so much. I think what the movie did with what it had made it a better film than you’re giving it credit for.

UM: “It’s Christmas Eve Baaaaaaaaabe….in the drunk taaaaaaaaank!” I’m sorry, did you say something?

EC: Goddammit, I’ve lost the Mouse. After I fetch a cat to try and wake him up (fear is often the best medicine, I find), we’ll start the actual review.

Hssssssssssss!

Hssssssssssss!

UM: You ever….EVER  do that to me again. You just wait. I’m gonna get your natural predator and launch it at you when you least expect it!

 

EC: Somehow, I doubt that entirely. ANYWAY! How does the movie start?

UM:  Well, I’m GLAD YOU ASKED! Alright, so the movie begins with a pretty faithful recreation of the Sleeping Beauty opening with the storybook and even the “Walt Disney presents” rendered in the same font. So, yeah, I will give the movie this, it does quite faithfully recreate little details like that.

 

EC: Actually, the “Walt Disney” logo that plays before every movie was rendered beautifully in CGI, and we zoom in on the castle. Coupled with the lush music that plays during the sequence, it makes for a really inviting visual spectacle, and sets the stage for a “magical” experience.

 

UM:  And the wedding of Erik Copper and the Disney logo will take place this summer,and you are all invited.

 

EC: Mouse, I was hoping I could break the news…

 

UM: Oh God, dude, I’m sorry, I didn’t think.

 

"You ASSHOLE!"

“You ASSHOLE!”

 

EC: Oh, man…I am gonna hear about this…

 

UM: Okay, if I’ve done enough damage. The movie begins in Andalasia (which has always been at war with Oceania) with the narrator (Julie Andrews) explaining that the country is ruled by a wicked Queen named Narissa, who is worried that her step son Prince Edward will marry and she will lose the throne. Man, you Americans just do not GET how monarchy works, do you?

 

EC: We left and formed the colonies for a reason, my friend. Also, can I just interject and say how every Disney prince seems to be given one of the blandest names ever? It’s like their parents WANTED them to grow up to have all the personality of a cardboard box…Edward, Eric, Charming, Adam…

 

UM: Hey, Prince Adam was AWESOME!

 

he-man

 

UM: We now see Giselle (Amy Adams) in her little forest house surrounded by the usual forest detritus. Erik, thoughts on this animation?

 

EC: I think it’s actually pretty well done. The textures and colors are very vibrant, but that’s to be expected when you aren’t restricted by paper and pen anymore. This was all drawn digitally, yes?

 

UM: Yeah. Disney wanted to make a movie about a Disney princess in the real world but unfortunately they’d shut down their traditional animation wing by this point and cue the smallest violin in the world playing just for them.

 

EC: It almost brings a tear to my eye. Almost.

 

UM: Yes. I imagine you would be crying after being attacked by a RED PANDA!!!!!!

Red-panda

Hissssss!

UM: ….Humans are scared of pandas, right?

 

EC: If fear is equivalent to d’awwwwing at extremely unbearable levels, then yes. We’re terrified. You’ll have to try harder to find my worst fear, Mouse.

 

UM: Damnation! Well, anyway, this animation doesn’t really do it for me. Not bad, certainly not. But, the problem is that this isn’t animation by the Disney animation team, it’s a load of animators who’ve been brought in (many of them former Disney animators admittedly) and told to do an impression of Disney animation. And honestly, it’s far too shiny and happy to really look like anything Disney did in the Tar and Sugar or Restoration era. Look back on Pinocchio or Snow White. They’re not shiny and colourful, they are dark and moody as fuck. They are downright sombre in places.

 

EC: They also have some frightening images at times.

 

UM:  Yeah. Just a bit. Okay, so Giselle and the UFD are putting together a…what the fuck are they making Erik, help me out here.

 

EC: They’re making a model of the prince Giselle saw in her dream, but it’s starting to look more like something I should be throwing Holy Water at.
enchanted2lg

UM: This is…this is a serial killer mannequin, isn’t it?

 

EC: Prince Charming isn’t so charming NOW, is he?

 

UM: Okay. I now have an idea for a movie about a woman who thinks she’s a Disney princess and murders people ritually in a way that references each of the Princess movies. It’s Disney crossed with Seven. It’s my idea and you can’t steal it or I will feed you to THIS MEERKAT!

Hissssss!

Hissssss!

EC: Sorry, did you say something? I was too busy selling the movie rights to notice your futile attempt to find my natural predator.

 

UM: God I hate you so much. Why did I ever let you be my voice?

 

EC: Y’know, I think Walt Disney and Mickey Mouse had this same conversation on many different occasions…

 

UM: Mel Blanc never forgave Bugs Bunny for sleeping with his wife.

 

EC: I guess Bugs didn’t need the Doc to tell him what was “up”.

 

UM: Wow, and we just ruined the childhood of every generation since the frickin’ forties!

 

EC: I’d show myself out, but we’ve still got a lot of movie to cover. Chop chop!

 

UM: Alright, so we then see Prince Edward defeating a massive green troll in the forest.

not shrek

UM: Hmmm…a green troll. Getting its ass kicked by a Disney prince. Erik, call me crazy, but I think there may be symbolism afoot!

 

EC: You’re crazy.

 

UM: Hear me out! That big green, ogre-like troll is obviously a stand-in for the Incredible Hulk. This is Disney saying “Oh yeah, we’re buying Marvel. Few years down the line, it’s gonna happen. Fair warning.”

 

EC:…I rescind I previous statement. You’re batshit insane.

 

UM: Beans. Oh, we also meet Nathaniel, Edward’s Gaston-like man-bitch voiced by Timothy “Shifty Like None Other” Spall. Edward hears Giselle singing and races off to find her, but Nathaniel is actually secretly working for Narissa and releases the ogre Hulk Shrek troll so that he’ll get to Giselle first and eat her and as cock blocks go, that’s a doozy.

 

EC: Wait, Nathanial is trying to eat Giselle?

 

UM: No….the troll.

 

EC: Oh…Jesus, man. Be more clear.

 

UM: Sorry. Edward rescues Giselle with a little help from Giselle’s sassy little chipmunk buddy Pip (Jeff Bennett), their eyes meet and Edward exclaims “We shall be married in the morning!”

 

EC: Well, at least Giselle knows Edward is going to marry HER. We’d hate to have a repeat of what happened to Arial…

 

UM: Also, it’s “We shall be married” not “Will you marry me?”

 

EC: Potential suitors, take note: The more forceful the proposal, the less of a chance she’ll say “no”.

 

UM: The less of a chance, indeed, that she will say anything and not just mace your ass.

 

EC: I’m charming (and naive) enough to have faith that will not happen. Do not shatter my perception of love.

 

UM: Hasn’t Frozen already done that? Speaking of…

 

EC: Yeah, don’t people usually compare Enchanted to Frozen?

 

UM: Yeah, and for me, Frozen actually caused me to seriously downgrade Enchanted in my estimation. Frozen really drank this movie’s milkshake in my opinion.

"I drink...your...milkshake Giselle! I DRINK IT UP

“I drink…your…milkshake Giselle! I DRINK IT UP

 

UM: Enchanted takes the “you will meet your true prince and it will be love at first sight” trope and says “Oh, isn’t this silly?”. Frozen takes it and says “No, it’s fucking dangerous and we need to stop teaching this to little girls because it’s messed up.” And look, I love the old Disney movies. Love ‘em to death, but this is one trope that I think really needs to die and I am so glad that Frozen was the movie that finally stabbed an icicle in its heart

 

EC: Its “Frozen Heart” if you will.

 

UM: Exactly. Oh God it’s Susan Sarandon.

 

NARISSA

 

EC: What’s the problem?

 

UM: You think she’s GOOD?!

 

EC: She’s not…Bad, per se, but…I wouldn’t…I wouldn’t call her “GOOD”…

 

UM: See, the villain is SO important in a Disney movie. Honestly, I often think they’re more integral than the heroes. Cruella De Ville anyone?

 

EC: If she didn’t have such a fascination with using real fur in her coats, we wouldn’t have a movie…

 

UM: Well, it would just be Pongo and Perdie parenting, and driving their kids to school and shit.

 

EC:…Where would Dalmatians even GO to school?

 

(Cue Mouse and Erik searching the internet for names of famous colleges and dog puns for four hours before finally throwing up their hands and admitting they got nothing.)

 

EC: Well, I think that was four hours well spent, how about you?

 

UM: It brought us closer to together. No question. As I was saying, I think Sarandon is pretty awful, and the constant apeing of my favourite evil Disney villainesses doesn’t help. I mean, there’s that bit where she turns into a dragon and I’m like “No. NO. I knew Maleficent. Maleficent was a friend of mine. And you, madam, are no Maleficent.”

Jury's still out on you.

Jury’s still out on you.

Anyway, Giselle shows up at the palace in her wedding dress and Narissa ambushes her dressed as an old beggar woman.

"From the blackest pits of hell I summon ye, to me my lawyers!"

“From the blackest pits of hell I summon ye, to me my lawyers!”

UM: She tells Giselle to make a wish in the wishing well and then pushes her in. Nathaniel asks her where the well goes to and she says “to a place where there are no happily ever afters”.

Truly, a fate worse than death.

Truly, a fate worse than death.

 

UM:Actually, Erik, I have a question. So Narissa has a well in her garden that acts as a portal to New York. Okay, fair enough, she goes there for the sales, whatever. It just strikes me that this plan might have worked better if she’d just used a regular non-magic well and drowned her.

 

EC: Mouse! This is a FAMILY picture!

 

UM: You’ve never met my family, clearly.

 

EC:…I have a fear of wells, so I think I’ll steer clear of your family, thank you.

 

UM: How did you know I was related to HG Wells?

 

EC: Well, how many other talking mice do you know of, outside of Sci-Fi?

 

UM: Touché. Alright, so Giselle gets eaten by fireflies and then turned into flesh and blood Amy Adams. And, let me be clear, I think Amy Adams is fantastic in this. Not just in the comedic stuff, but how she reacts when she’s been transformed into three dimensions feels really believable to me. She really sells it is what I’m saying. Giselle comes up through a manhole cover and stands, confused and dazed, in modern day Times Square.

"You've been asleep a long time, Giselle."

“You’ve been asleep a long time, Giselle.”

 

UM: So Giselle goes running around New York bumping into shit and calling a random dwarf she meets “Grumpy”.

 

EC: Um…That’s a bit offensive. I mean, if it were Grumpy, where would the other six dwarves be? THINK, GISELLE!

 

UM: Also, does she know Grumpy? Is she their neighbour? And if she does know him, why doesn’t she realise that this guy looks nothing like Grumpy? Or is she just aware that there is a dwarf somewhere named Grumpy? That would be like me going up to a random black person and saying “Oprah!”

 

EC: I think you know who Oprah is, Mouse.

 

UM: Well I do NOW. But I was just lucky that the random black person did in fact turn out to be Oprah. Million to one shot. Oh my God, I’ve just remembered an actual true story. Friend of mine was helping out at the Special Olympics when they were hosted here in 2003. This actually happened, swear to God. My friend (who shall not be named) sees Muhammad Ali coming down the corridor.

My friend who shall not be named.

My friend who shall not be named.

UM: Goes up to him, shakes his hand and says “Can I just say, it’s an honour to meet you Mr Mandela.” Mohammed Ali politely informs my Unnamed Friend that he is not Nelson Mandela, and my Unnamed Friend replies with the words that will live forever: “Oh my God! I’m so sorry! I thought you were someone famous!” True story. Hand to God.

 

EC: Your friend is lucky they didn’t get punched in the face. I hear that guy throws a mean punch.

 

UM: How do you throw a nice punch? No wait, better question, how do you review a two hour movie so that the review isn’t longer than the King James Bible?

 

EC:..I’ll get back to you on that?

 

UM: Alright, so we now meet Robert Phillip. Or is it Phillip Robert? With a name like that he could be a DC hero.

 

EC: Why does Patrick Dempsey always play Doctors and Lawyers?

 

UM: I know right? Why does he never play a ruggedly handsome, wavy-haired septic tank technician?

 

EC: Because those two things have never been spoken in the same sentence before now, I’m guessing.

 

UM: In real life the term “handsome lawyer” gets batted around a lot less than you’d think. Well anyway, he plays a lawyer in this…

 

EC: Get out!

 

UM:…who’s thinking of finally moving in with his long term girlfriend Nancy (played by Idina Menzel).

 

EC: I think Idina Menzel’s talents are EXTREMELY wasted in this movie.

 

UM: Does she sing in this?

 

EC: Not at all.

 

UM: Then yes, yes they are. Robert is trying to break this news to his daughter Morgan when they come across Giselle seeking sanctuary from a castle on a billboard. Robert catches Giselle when she falls and lets her into his apartment so that she can call a car to pick her up but she falls asleep on the couch so he has to let her spend the night. Morgan is absolutely Enchanted with Giselle (ohhhhhh…I get it) because she thinks she’s a real princess but Robert just thinks she’s a crazy person.

 

EC: And when you really get down to it, aren’t all princesses just crazy people with a lot of nice things?

 

UM: What do you mean? Belle falls in love with a huge animal. Is that crazy? Jasmine wants to leave behind a life of wealth and luxury for poverty and misery on the streets of Agrahbah. Is that crazy? Pocahontas falls in love with an Englishman….oh my God they’re all nuts.

 

EC: I rest my case.

 

UM: Your Honour, I move that I be disbarred if it please the court. Okay, so meanwhile, Edward follows Giselle down the well followed by Pip and they both emerge in New York, Edward as James Marsden and Pip as AAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH OH GOD! OH GOD! OH GOD!

 pip

EC: Whoa, Mouse?! What’s wrong?!

 

UM: CGI CHIPMUNK! CGI FRICKIN’ CHIPMUNK!

 

EC: Is…Is that all?

 

UM: Don’t you get it?! WE ARE AT DEFCON 1! THERE COULD BE SQUEAKQUELS ERIK! SQUEAKQUELS!

 

EC:…I’m not getting the issue, here.

 

UM: And I pray you never will. Edward sets off in search of Giselle with Pip, who now can’t talk and can only communicate in grunts and squeaks.

"Just like Gerald Ford."

“Just like Gerald Ford.”

UM: Alright, with the next scene we get one of those comedy beats that’s pretty obvious but nonetheless quite funny. Giselle wakes up in Robert’s apartment and sees the mess and decides to clean up using the usual Disney Princess method, use your psychic powers to enslave an army of hapless creatures to do it for you.

 

EC: It’s not “enslaving” if they’re singing. Come on, Mouse.

 

UM: So obviously, the fauna in New York is less “adorable woodland critters” and more “hideous scuttling vermin” like disease ridden rats, mangey one legged pigeons, scuttling cockroaches and I think I saw Donald Trump in there somewhere.

 

EC: Don’t let him hear you say that. He’ll fire you in a heartbeat.

 

UM: I work in financial regulation so I’m pretty sure he would if he could. He’s actually trying to build a golf course over here but can’t because there’s an endangered snail on the land. Donald Trump foiled by a slimey mollusc. God has a wicked sense of humour.

 

EC: There are some things money just can’t buy.

 

UM: Erik I’m gonna make myself a sandwich, take over would you?

 

EC: Uh…Sure. Oh, god, I have power now…I must use it wisely. So Morgan runs into her Dad’s room and wakes him up, telling him he has to come see what’s going on in the living room, what with all the birds and bugs and rats that have come to help Giselle clean. When he gets there, he presumably shits bricks and has all of the animals chased out of the house. He then hears Giselle in the shower, and…That’s never a good sign. In a romantic movie, hearing someone shower is basically an invitation to hilarious antics and misunderstandings.

 

UM: Of course, in a horror movie it’s usually a prelude to stabbing. So it could be worse.

 

EC: Well…Ruining your relationship of five years? Shit, stab me now.

"Dont. Fucking. Tempt me."

“Don’t. Fucking. Tempt me.”

EC: I’m sorry, baby. I’ll never to do it again…So Nancy (played by Adele Dazeem Idina Menzel) comes into the apartment just in time to see Giselle fall onto Robert and get the wrong idea. Hilarious antics!

 

UM: Okay, I will give the movie props on this. They didn’t make Nancy a shrew or secretly a cheater or a gold digger to make it easier for Giselle and Robert to get together. She’s a really nice person who just doesn’t happen to be the one for Robert. I do like that.

 

EC: I like that too, although she still needed a song. Movie, this is NOT how you use your Idina Menzel. At all.

 

UM: She is a precious resource after all.

 

EC: Robert tries to explain why there was a naked wet woman on his lap, but Nancy isn’t buying it. She storms out, and Robert is left to ponder what could have been…Until he realizes Giselle is still standing there.

 

UM: Meanwhile Nathaniel has arrived in the real world, and he pairs up with Edward who’s been running around Times Square stabbing buses. Really? This whole time? There’s been like a hour of in universe time between his arriving and all the stuff in Robert’s apartment and Edward hasn’t even left Times Square yet? It’s a BIG CITY Ed! Get your ass in gear!

 

EC: To Edward’s credit, Time’s Square is the most crowded place in New York, so if you were to find someone, you might wanna start looking there.

 

UM: So now Robert is basically stuck with Giselle. He takes her to work (fortunately it’s take your dimension displaced Princess to work Day) and Giselle’s pure-hearted belief in true eternal love ends up creating problems since this is a divorce law firm. Incidentally, isn’t one of Robert’s clients Clay Davis from The Wire?

 

EC: I’ve…Actually never seen The Wire. Which is weird, considering it takes place in Baltimore, and I’m like…An hour away.

 

UM: Really? ‘Cos that show has had such an impact on me. It’s the reason I will never, ever, ever, ever visit your home state.

 

EC: Dude, if you ever come here, come for the crabs. The sea creature kind. Not the…You know what I mean.

 

UM: Don’t you tell me how to live my life.

 

EC: …Okay. So after the whole fiasco at the law firm, Robert and Giselle head to Central Park. They exchange views on love, which leads into the song “That’s How You Know”.

 

UM: We haven’t actually talked about the songs in this.

 

EC: …Holy crap. We’ve done almost half of the movie, and we’ve glazed over every single song? How does one DO that in a Disney movie?

 

UM: You’re a goddamn liability Copper!

 

EC: Maybe, but I get results! I AM WORTH IT!

 

UM: I want your badge and your gun on my desk in the morning! Okay, personally, I feel the same way about the songs as I do about the animation. They feel more like impressions of Disney songs. Look, I’ll be honest, as far as I’m concerned the era of the great Disney song ended with Mulan and then we didn’t really get a truly great Disney song until Frozen (maybe Tarzan and Emperor’s New Groove could have some contenders?).

 

EC: Wait…MAYBE Tarzan? MAYBE TARZAN?!

 

UM: Alright, I love Two Worlds and you love Two Worlds but that song just hasn’t entered the pop culture consciousness in the same way that say, Under the Sea has.

 

EC: I don’t know, man. I feel like Tarzan’s soundtrack wasn’t as much a broadway styled project as it was Phil Collins doing what he does best. That’s what the Tarzan musical was for.

 

UM: There was a Tarzan stage musical? I never knew that.

 

EC: Oh, yeah. And I think it’s actually a better representation of the Disney style than the movie (where the movie was more Pop, the musical definitely brings it back to showtunes in a way that the movie really strayed from.)

 

UM: Huh. Okay, so Nathaniel is pretending to help Edward find Giselle (despite Pip’s warnings which Edward can’t understand) but he’s ACTUALLY trying to poison her with apples that he’s been given by Narissa. Meanwhile, Giselle manages to patch things up between Nancy and Robert by getting two white doves to fly a heart-shaped bouquet of flowers to Nancy’s and she’s all like “Heart shaped flowers delivered by doves, dude, screw whoever you like ‘cos you just earned infinite boyfriend points.”

 

EC: Oh, boy. Boyfriend points! What could you exchange them for?

 

UM: Unfortunately when you get married, the rate of exchange for boyfriend points to husband points is insane. You’re basically left with nothing. It’s like converting dollars to euro.

 

EC: And then when the anniversary comes around, it’s like tax day for Husband Points…

 

UM: Yeah, thanks a lot HUSBAND OBAMA. You know, this movie is really making me appreciate Idina Menzel’s acting skills because my God, she sounds NOTHING like Elsa. Giselle also included two tickets to a ball with the flowers and I’m sure that will play no part in the denouement Erik. Placing money on that right now.

 

EC: Oh, nope. Not even gonna be mentioned later, I’m sure. We’ll probably just glaze over that.

 

UM: So to say thank you, Robert takes Giselle out for pizza with Morgan and is that some chemistry I spy?

 

EC: Oh, no. It’s not a “date”. It’s…It’s…Uh…Well, I mean, it’s not a “date”! It just doesn’t have another word to describe it at all!

 

UM: Giselle asks if Morgan misses her mother, because being a Disney princess, absent mothers is something she can totally relate to. Honestly, sometimes I think they just arise from the earth like the Dwarves in Middle-Earth. Robert and Giselle have a conversation about Robert is trying to raise Morgan to not believe that life is like a fairy tale. Giselle tells him that sometimes “dreams do come true” and Robert remember’s who he’s talking to.

 

EC: Can I just say that I love the dynamic between Robert and Giselle? It’s so cool to see a man who doesn’t believe in fairy tales speak to someone that comes from a world where everything DOES work like they do in story books. It’s an interesting look into the contrasting worlds.

 

UM: I gotta say, I do like this scene a lot. Dempsey sells the grief of losing a wife, and Amy Adams is just adorable, she really is. When he says “I forgot who I was talking to” and she says “I hope you don’t. I like talking to you.” it is genuinely sweet.

 

EC: I’m seeing you compliment the movie a lot more than bashing it. What’s going on here?

 

UM: I dunno. Maybe my heart has been warmed by this adorable THOMSON’S GAZELLE! GO FOR HIS THROAT!

Hissssssss!

Hissssssss!

UM: …Nothing huh?

 

EC: Nope. Not even a twitch.

 

UM: I’m starting to think you don’t have any natural predators.

 

EC: If I did have one, I wouldn’t tell you.

 

UM: Hah, I just noticed. The Italian Restaurant is called “Bella Notte”.

 

EC: I noticed that! There’s a lot of nods to other Disney movies in this.

 

UM: Yeah. Like when she’s looking at the fish in an aquarium and you can hear “Part of Your World” playing.

 

EC: I like that. Because it also fits here. Except instead of “wanting” to be where the people are, it’s more like Giselle has no choice…

 

UM: Whoah. Dude. Like Dude.

 

EC: I know, right? But at the end, it’s like she’s finally warmed up to the people here. Just like in The Little Mermaid. HOW BOUT DAT. Also, Giselle and Ariel? Both red-heads.

 

UM: Okay, I think I’ve figured out something about this movie.

 

EC: What’s that?

 

UM: When it’s just trying to be a comedy, it’s subpar. But when it actually lets Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsey play off each other and really explore the concept it’s actually really, really interesting. Like this scene where Robert is trying to convince Giselle that Edward’s not coming and she actually gets angry for the first time in her life. And her joy at discovering this whole new emotional universe, it’s actually really compelling. Okay, yes, I seem to be tilting positive on this, shut up.

 

EC: Oh, I wouldn’t say a word. You seem to be ruining your argument well enough all by yourself.

 

UM: Alright, so now they’re clearly deep in “I want to kiss you but I cannot” territory which is freaking out both Giselle and Robert. But then, wouldn’t you know it, Edward shows up at the door.

 

EC: And I gotta say, the part where he starts singing a song, and leaves the end of the line for Giselle to finish…But she doesn’t is really effective. Not only does it show how the world has affected Giselle, but it shows how different of a person she is.

 

UM: Yeah, she’s gone native.  So Giselle decides that rather than just marry Edward maybe they should actually go on a date and try to get to know each other. Giselle starts to realise that maybe she’s not as in love with Edward as she thought, but decides to ask him to take her to the ball. Giselle goes to get Morgan’s advice because she has no idea what to do or what to wear and then Morgan takes out her emergency credit card and oh sweet Jesus they actually have a shopping montage.

 

EC: If only it were set to “Eye of the Tiger” like all montages should be.

 

UM: No lie, I fucking hate this scene. “Hey little girls, wouldn’t it be awesome to have your own Disney princess who you could go shopping with?” Fuck this scene with every cock on my body.

 

EC: I’m going to go ahead and ignore the implications made by that statement.

 

UM: Yes, I have eight penises. I’m not ashamed.

 

EC: Octopenis?

 

UM: Oh, you’ve seen my movie?

 

EC: I rather wish I hadn’t. Anyway, what happens next?

 

UM: Okay, so Narissa finally arrives in New York. You know, casting this movie must have been really hard. They needed to cast actors who not only have the right voice for the animated characters but also could play their real life counterparts. With Susan Sarandon though, Jesus it’s just zero for two. Anyway, Nancy, Robert, Giselle and Edward meet up at the ball and Giselle introduces him by saying “This is Edward, my…prince.” and I’ll admit it’s a funny line.

 

EC: It’s like she wanted to say he’s more, but…She needs a SECOND date to be sure.

 

UM: Nancy is clearly taken with Edward’s “human Ken doll” schtick and we now get the weirdest line in the whole damn movie. The Emcee tells the guys in the ballroom that they have to dance the next waltz with a woman other than the one they invited. WHAT? Who does that? What is this guy’s deal? Did his wife leave him and now he’s trying to break up as many happy couples as he can?

 

EC: I think it’s just asking for an all-out ballroom blitz brawl.

 

UM: So Giselle and Robert share a dance, and what’s more A MOMENT. Giselle, now realising that she loves Robert, is heartbroken. She gets ambushed by Narissa disguised as the old hag who offers her a poisoned apple with the promise that it will take all her pain away. And to be fair, she ain’t lying.

 

EC: Death certainly stops pain, yes.

 

UM: Giselle eats the apple like a silly moo and instantly swoons. Edward catches Narissa in the act and finally realises that she’s evil.

 Well duh

 

UM: Robert realises that what this situation calls for is some good old fashioned prince kissin’, and Edward kisses her but nothing happens. Maybe if he slipped her the tongue? The clock starts to chime midnight and Narissa gloats that if the curse isn’t broiken before the final chime Giselle ie. Edward begs Robert to try and he says that it’s not possible because he’s only known her for a few days and Nancy tells him to kiss her and that “It’s okay”. Again, really like how they didn’t make Nancy a bitch. Of course Robert’s kiss brings her out of it and Narissa decides to go to plan B. Oh yeah, you know what time it is.

MAGIC WAND, MAKE MY MONSTER GROW!

MAGIC WAND, MAKE MY MONSTER GROW!

EC: Oddly enough, I was gonna say “is it morphin’ time?”

 

UM: It is indeed. Narissa turns into a crappy CGI dragon (Maleficent is turning in her grave) and climbs onto the roof with Robert in her clutches. So, in an admiitedly nice subversion, the Princess has to rescure her Prince from the dragon. They battle and then then Narissa slips and falls to her death. Huh. I guess the fall must have killed her?

 

EC: No, Mouse. ‘Twas beauty that killed the beast.

 

UM: And that about wraps her up. The movie ends with Giselle staying with Robert in New York, Nancy returning to Andalasia with Edward (Idina Menzel as a Disney princess, yeah, like that’d ever happen) and they all live happily every after in accordance with their contractual obligations to the Walt Disney corporation.

 

EC: The mouse doesn’t like to cash in on shameless seq–nevermind.

 

UM: Alright, so how about we score this thing. Animation first, Erik, what do you think?

 

EC: I think the animation is solid from a technical standpoint, but like you said, it’s more faux-Disney that actual Disney, so…13?

 

UM: Wow, I actually gave it 14 and I was feeling kinda guilty!

 

EC: Well, I’m generally an unforgiving bastard.

 

UM: For leads, like I said before, I think Amy Adams, Patrick Dempsey and James Marsden carry this whole thing so I’m gonna say 16/20.

 

EC: I love the dynamic between everyone, so I’ll give it an 18.

 

UM: Oh my God. Copper, you whore!

 

EC: B-but…I didn’t steal that from anyone! That’s MINE!

 

UM: Alright, you know my feelings on this villain, 05/20.

 

EC: Yeah, she does seem rather lackluster and more of a cop out than what we’ve seen in previous movies, but I still kinda think she served her purpose well enough. 10/20

 

UM: Didn’t much care for the supporting characters, so it’s a six from me.

 

EC: I loved Pip, and Nathaniel was kind of funny to me, so I’ll give them an 11.

 

UM: And music?

 

EC: We kind of glazed over it a lot, but they’re standard Disney. Nothing special, and kinda generic really. I’ll give them a 9/20.

 

UM: Alan Menken and me had some good times, so I’ll be generous and give a 10/20.

 

MOUSE’S SCORE: 51%

 

ERIK’S SCORE: 64%

 

UM: So there we go. I’d like to thank Erik for joining me on this journey, and Erik, I believe you have a blog of your own that the people here might like to take a look at.

 

EC: Yes. Now, I know that I seem to own more blogs than the Disney owns properties, but…I think this one will fit in nicely with the crowd here. It’s called Historically Animated, and it’s a review blog where I’ll be taking animated movies and reviewing them chronologically, according to where they take place in Earth’s history. (For example, The Land Before Time is first, and Dinosaur is next, then Ice Age, The Croods, you get the idea.) I currently only have The Land Before Time review up, but I should have a steadily increasing list of films that I’ve looked at.

 

UM: Yes, do check it out. After all, what better way to mourn Erik after he was tragically eaten by THIS GREAT WHITE SHARK!!!

Hissssssss!

Hissssssss!

EC: OH FUBHG@VRBFOUGYJKQHVT$FGBWEJVHB

 

UM: Tsk. He should have brought  bigger boat.

 

NEXT UPDATE: 05 June 2014. 

NEXT TIME: You know, for the longest time I thought it was “robots in the skies”….

Transformers-movieposter-west

Neil Sharpson aka The Unshaved Mouse is a playwright, blogger and comic book writer living in Dublin. The blog updates with a new animated movie review every second Thursday. He’s also serialising his novel The Hangman’s Daughter with a new chapter every other Thursday.

Erik Copper is an American citizen living in Maryland. He loves to write, and look at things with an analytical eye. And he might not be dead…Yet.

 

92 comments

  1. I agree with Mouse. The movie is too obvious with how it’s making fun of the old stuff that it doesn’t even feel like the people who made the movie even liked the old princess movies. To make a good parody, you have to actually like what you are making fun of. Then again, there is a hint that they felt something for it in the first place so whatever. The movie is OK.

  2. Awesome collab. I feel rather similarly about this film.

    Yay, I can say I saw Historically Animated before it was announced here. I will continue to follow you two devotedly.

  3. First!

    Actually, Idinia Menzel not singing in this one was a high point for her. She was happy she got the acting job based on her talent alone, not her singing voice.

    What, nothing about the puns the queen spouted during the final fight scene? Come on! The puns, the puns……..

      1. A nice bit of trivia is that Narissa was actually animated by Jafar’s supervising animator, Andreas Deja. He really has a thing for villains.

  4. Very cheeky review: I liked it a lot!
    I….actually liked Narissa, but I like the entire movie, so.
    And I love Tarzan’s soundtrack: I think it’s understated just because it’s more pop-themed as opposed to broadway. I’m sad that the soundtrack doesn’t get more notice.
    Can’t wait for the next review! This was a joy to read as per always.

    1. “And I love Tarzan’s soundtrack: I think it’s understated just because it’s more pop-themed as opposed to broadway. I’m sad that the soundtrack doesn’t get more notice.”

      I agree. And actually–this is a rare thing for me to say, since I’m a vocalist and not an instrumentalist–I wish the score got more notice, too. The instrumental version of YBIMH–particularly the piano–that plays when Kala takes Tarzan back to the treehouse punches me in the soul every time I hear it.

    2. It may not be the first thing that comes up when you mention Disney soundtracks, but Tarzan’s actually got more songs that made it to my iTunes library than any other Disney movie (even Lion King if its sequel is treated separately), so be glad for that small honour, Tarzan.

  5. What bothers me about Enchanted – and Frozen for that matter – is that both movies are commenting on a kind of Disney Princess which has been long a thing of the past, if it even ever existed.
    The two main points of critic always seem to be the “three day romance” and the “she only wants to marry”….but not even the classic Disney Princesses have that as their live goal, not really. In fact the only Princess who ever stated that being married is what she wants of her life first and foremost is romance and getting married is Anna. You can make a case for Snow White and Aurora but if you really pay attention, you notice that they don’t want to marry, but they want love (understandable for someone growing up in an abusive environment) and not being alone anymore (again, understandable if more or less the only people you know are your adoptive “aunts”). But the princesses which came after them…Ariel wants to life on land long before she meets Eric, Belle only wants to rescue her father and finding a place where her desire for reading is accepted, Jasmine mostly doesn’t want to marry and instead see the world, Pocahontas even gives up “true love” because she considers her responsibilities more important, Mulan wants to rescue her father and proof her worth, Tiana wants her restaurant and Rapunzel wants to see the lights (and find herself). And the only princesses we actually do see getting married during their own movie are Cinderella, Ariel and Tiana…with all the others it is suggested that they eventually did (and Tangled even specifically said that eventually means that they didn’t jump into marriage immediately), but for all we know, they might have waited years before it actually happened. And that is EXACTLY the end Frozen has too, which heavily suggests that Anna and Kristoph are meant to be. If they had scratched Kristoph from the movie and had allowed Anna to be a heroine in her own right, independent and set on helping her sister, I would have applaud them. But nobody will convince me that having a dizz for a heroine instead of the strong female characters Disney created beforehand is in any way a good thing. To me Frozen is (pretty much like Brave) a huge step back in what female heroines can be from movies like Tangled and Mulan.

    There is also the little matter that most of the princesses know perfectly well which kind of man they are in love with…the kind of man who would search the world for them, who will kill a monster for them, who will give up his own live for their happiness…not some stranger who just happens to stumble over them. The only princess who is somewhat foolish in that regard is Cinderella, because when it comes to “marrying a guy you don’t know at all more or less immediately” she is really the only one where the shoe fits (see what I did there?).

    Enchanted has good music and good actors…but I don’t think that it is a really good parody, mostly because it parodies what people think Disney is about and not what it really is about – pretty much like Shrek, btw., only that Shrek is very hateful on top of it. If I want to watch a really well done, spot on Disney parody, I watch Emperor’s new Groove.

      1. Maybe not a straight up parody but it subverts a lot of typical Disney tropes for comic effect (Yzma turning into a “huge monster” at the end for example.

      2. Have you seen the movie? They make jokes about more or less every typical Disney trope…from the typical “fall down from a great high villain dead” over remarking on typical time squeezes and convenient coincidences they usually use in their movies…it’s hilarious…and, above all, spot on. Because that’s what you usually find in a Disney movie.
        For example Enchanted has a very long sequence making fun of the villain who holds a speech so that the hero has the opportunity to win…but that’s a trope which is fairly rare in Disney movies. Most of the villains are fairly set on killing of the heroes…they might talk while doing it, but (with the notable exception of Scar) they don’t blab out their secret plans and they certainly don’t pause, but keep trying to kill the hero(ine) off.

      3. Swanpride, to be honest it’s been a long while since I’ve fully watched Emperor’s New Groove, but at the time I didn’t really get the vibe that it was trying to be a parody of Disney, I just thought it was Disney just trying something new when it came to animated films, focusing more on comedy and sort of mimicking one of those comedy buddy road trip movies.

      1. It’s okay…I consider it extremely overrated. It’s certainly not a bad movie, but it has a lot of problems…but we can discuss this when we reach Frozen…in a year or so….

      2. Mmmm…let’s see….one review per months….there is still Bolt, Princess and the Frog, Tangled, Winnie the Pooh and Wreck it Ralph beforehand….November, providing that nothing else comes up…but then, Winter is the best time to review Frozen either way.

      3. I think it’s overrated, too, but not terribly so. It’s not perfect, but I’d put it in the decent to pretty darn good category. My biggest problem is that the spacing of the songs is uneven; the first 5 songs play out in the first 35 minutes, and then the next four take a long time to get to. (And it doesn’t help that the final song was just filler.) I also think Olaf, while a good supporting character, is kind of pointless to the story. I like the rest of the characters more; I particularly like Elsa, as she’s a fairly complex lead. Most of the songs work for me, but some don’t (cough, cough, Fixer Upper, cough). The animation is close to perfect, particularly in the special effects. Bottom line: not the best film, IMO, but still a very good film.

      4. Don’t get me started on how much a loathe Fixer upper…
        Yeah, the spacing of the songs is one of the big problems of the movie.

        Like I said, it is okay. It is not bad. But I wouldn’t even consider it for the top ten of the best Disney movies.

      5. Either way, Tangled as well as Wreck it Ralph are both better movies, imho. I would put Frozen on the same Level I would put Princess and the Frog…a movie with a lot of potential, but too many problems to compete with the top ones.

      6. I’d at least put it in the top 15 or top 20. Even my dad would agree that Tangled (and the early Renaissance films) are better.

    1. But it seems like if you count up how many times an individal princess is in various Disney Princess merch group vectors on packaging, Snow White, Cinderella, and Aurora show up a lot more then the modern princesses.

      1. That’s a problem of the merch, though, NOT of the movies…for the record, I hate the merch. It takes what are strong female heroines which are good role models for children and turns them into idiotic bimbos who are only interested in nice clothes and being “princessly”….
        Plus, consider when Enchanted was made. The Disney Princess Line-Up just started back then. It is very much a thing of the 2000th, all the Princesses before Tiana were simply female protagonists in a fairy tale movie, not “Disney Princesses” (it was a better time back then….)

  6. Another Frozen reference? It almost seems like you’re REALLY anxious to review that marvel. About the film, I never saw it, it just looked kind of like one of those mediocre live action Disney films that didn’t really seem like it would leave much of an impact, so yeah I’m a bit surprised Enchanted has gotten some positive consensus.

  7. Ah Enchanted. It’s certainly not perfect, but I love me an affectionate parody, and I feel like Enchanted is just one big teasing love letter to the Disney Princess line. Not the Disney Princesses as the really are, but as pop-culture perceives them, and as Disney has been portraying them lately. The jokes may be obvious, but they get me every time. And I actually really love the songs, especially “How do you know?”

    Also, Jeff Bennett is an absolutely amazing voice actor. Was one of the major guys working on Animaniacs, Pinkey and the Brain, and Histeria! (Anyone remember Histeria! ? I freaking loved Histeria!) I will admit, I’m a little disappointed he didn’t get to do more with Pip, because what he did do was really fun.

    Historically Animated sounds really fascinating. As a Paleontologist, I’m really curious to see what Eric has to say…

    And while we’re on the topic of plugging blogs, I’ve started my own review blog, where I try to explain to the world why Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu, a cartoon series based on LEGO, is actually pretty good. http://orangechels.wordpress.com/

      1. On the surface, yes. But I like Power Rangers, so that’s part of the appeal for me. But there’s some surprisingly good character development throughout the series. (Which can also be said of many seasons of Power Rangers, so your comparison still stands)

  8. Nice review! Hmm, Transformers the Movie? Never seen it; heard great things about it, though.
    On this movie, it’s not the best, and it’s cheesey, but it’s mildly entertaining, for me at least. I’d have to disagree on “Frozen” well subverting the tropes. I don’t like the “you can’t marry a man you just met” business in the film, like they’re showing it off like it’s never been done before when it HAS. Maybe I’m wrong about this, maybe not. (Side note: when you get to Frozen, spoilers for those who haven’t seen it yet, I’m suspecting a full twenty for a certain handsome D-bag.)

      1. Ah, well. I said “suspect” and not “expect”. I must admit, though, that was a really nice reversal of the tropes. Really caught me off-guard the first time I saw it. I wouldn’t say he’s quite up to Scar or Claude Frollo levels of evil, but that was a nasty move.

    1. You know, that was what annoyed me about Brave…all the claims that Merida is the first princess who is rebellious (hello? Ariel?) doesn’t want to marry (hello? Jasmine?), doesn’t end up hitched at the end of the movie (hello? Pocahontas?), has a healthy relationship with her mother (hello? Tiana?) and is the first one who actually uses a weapon (hello? Mulan?), especially since her stupid bow is mostly useless.
      I would give Frozen credit if they hadn’t added a “replacement love interest” for the “wrong one”.

      1. Yeah, that’s true. Merida is basically every other 90s and 00s Disney Princess. The entire movie is pretty cliched. And it bothers me that she is in the Princess lineup, but just because she’s not from an official Disney canon film.

      2. Well, what I think works with the “replacement” is that they don’t flat out get married afterwards, they just start dating. Which is pretty interesting.

      3. As I explained above: We only see three actual marriages in the original Disney movies (and Pocahontas doesn’t marry at all). In Mulan’s case, we don’t even get to see the romance, the movie ends with the start of it. In Tangled we are flat out told that the actual marriage happened way later, after multiple proposals. So no, that is nothing unusual at all, it is exactly how half of the Disney Princess movies end.

      4. I agree, J-Man. By including a ‘replacement’, as you call it, that point of the story is clarified. It’s not saying that romantic love is a bad thing – it uses each of the love-interest characters to illustrate that there’s a right way and a wrong way to go about acting on your feelings.

      5. I’ve only ever seen the second half of Brave, but I have good feelings towards it because they made a popular, successful film that was foremost about a girl’s relationship with her mom. That’s just not a topic that Holly-“multiple female leads don’t sell”-wood usually tackles, so I appreciate the fact that the film exists.

      6. That’s more or less the only thing I appreciate about it…but then, Sleeping Beauty already did that too, and better, by turning three old ladies into the true heroines of the movie and presenting a mostly female cast all around. In Brave Merida and her Mother are the only speaking female characters.
        (I would be more inclined to give Brave more credit if there weren’t so many people pretending that the one token aspect which is good in the movie is so revolutionary that one should overlook all the aspects which simply don’t work).

      7. Swanpride,sometimes the reality doesn’t matter so much as people’s perception of it. People think that all the Disney princesses got married after knowing the prince for three days so it matters that Merida is shown to break from that perception. WE know that’s not the case, but the general public doesn’t seem to realize that. So it WAS a big deal for Disney (even though it was really Pixar) to have a heroine who not only doesn’t get married but isn’t even romantically involved with anyone in the movie.

      8. Well, if I would have THAT to pick from, I wouldn’t want to get romantically involved either…they would have made the point much better if the suitors had been good looking and nice instead of a bunch of buffoons.

      9. Update from the future: Just saw Brave in it’s entirety, and…I think it’s better than Frozen, Tangled, and Princess and the Frog all three.

      10. But she IS the first princess to be shown mucking out a stable!

        . . . that is a rather poor claim-to-fame, I agree.

      11. What I think Brave has over the last three Disney princess movies is confidence. With Frozen/Frog/Tangled it kept feeling like the production team was cringing behind the scenes going “Oh God, we said we wouldn’t do any more princess movies, what were we thinking?” There’s a sense of Trying Too Hard that permeates the last three canon Princess movies, which made them come across as…well, amateurish, imo. Mainly, Brave doesn’t apologize for existing, whereas it felt like F/F/T do.

      12. That’s not the sense I get withTangled at all…that is one of the reasons I like it better than Frozen, PatF and Brave…it is the only one of the newer movies which embraces the Disney Princess concept, which allows Rapunzel to be girly and a Heroine instead of constantly trying to say “no, this was the Disney Princesses of the old, but our NEW ones, they are not into such nonsense, and if they are, they learn their lesson”…I especially hate the “learn their lesson” part in those three movies. Tangled doesn’t have any of those problems…Rapunzel just is what she is, and the changes she makes during the movie don’t happen because someone else (Elinor, Kristof, Mama Odie) tells her she HAS to change, but because she decides to go out of the world, learning a new kind of live on the way and developing self-confidence. It is from start to finish her decision while with the other three, they end up following the lead of someone else…which is in Merida’s and Anna case a good thing, because the two are idiots, but I don’t root for idiots. I want strong female characters. That is what the Disney Princess movies are usually about.

      13. To me, Tangled just felt kinda weak. They lost me from the start with the “magic flower” bit, because…well, it was lame. Songs are a big issue for me, too, and I just wasn’t impressed with the songwriting as a whole. Tangled is…okay, you know how people complain about the gargoyles in HoND as ruining the tone by injecting comedy? (I actually don’t mind the gargoyles since they don’t overtake the narrative; imo they are comic RELIEF and they do the job.) Tangled is basically if you took the tone of the gargoyles and painted them over HoND. The darker parts of the story are TOO subtle. Mother Goethel doesn’t have the sinister effect or the charisma of Frollo, and “youth and beauty” as a motivator for a villainness in a story that purports to be “modern” and “complex” doesn’t work for me. Rapunzel acts way too Manic Pixie Dream Girl for having been trapped in a tower her whole life. (Even her “I should go home / No I should chase my dreams!” meltdown was played for laughs rather than for drama.) The dark moments are reserved for the climactic moments, which made the movie feel uneven. Basically I just felt that Tangled didn’t take itself seriously enough to explore its full potential and create genuine emotional moments. (This is a different problem than Frozen, which DID create genuine emotional moments, but didn’t give you any time to absorb them.)

        That’s basically my problem with all the three latest princess movies…I feel like they’re more clever and catchy than thoughtful and skillful. They’re Top 40, not pop standards.

        “because the two are idiots, but I don’t root for idiots. I want strong female characters.”
        I take exception to the idea that strong female characters can’t behave foolishly, get ahead of themselves, or hold onto irrational notions. The push for Strong Female Character was just a desire to see fictional ladies given *agency*, not that they have to have certain admirable traits or else they are a disgrace to womankind. I mean, you’re free to dislike characters as you will, but Merida and Anna certainly aren’t “weak female characters”.

        (Nor do I think Merida is particularly stupid, just headstrong and single-minded.)

      14. I consider Gother very chilling, because her kind of manipulation hits very close to home.
        And there is acting occasionally foolish and being downright stupid. Both Meriada and Anna have been reared for the roles…of all the princesses they have most likely the best education. And yet they have no grasp whatsoever how their actions affect the world around them for no other reason because the show-runners wanted it that way. Rapunzel taking risks which are usually not that recommendable works, because she is out of options and it makes sense why Gothel would isolate her the way she does – and she has a clear agenda (I want to see the light). Merida doesn’t really have an agenda aside from what she doesn’t want…and Anna’s original agenda is “I want to marry”…sorry, that are the female characters I am supposed to root for? There is really no excuse for that…we are in the 2000 I expect a female main character having an agenda unrelated to a man. The same way Ariel’s agenda was to life at land, or Belle’s was to escape from a village were nobody respected her desire for reading. Even Tiana, as much as I am really not into TPatF because of various plot problems, has a clear agenda and is a way better character than those two, who are supposedly such a step forward for Disney…they aren’t.

      15. @swanpride I don’t really see Anna’s first agenda so much as “get a man” as much as wanting to meet new people and experiencing social life after years of isolation, as she expresses in “For the First Time in Forever.”

    2. “I don’t like the “you can’t marry a man you just met” business in the film, like they’re showing it off like it’s never been done before when it HAS.”

      The way they rubbed this message in your face was particularly grating, imo.

  9. Hey, longtime fan, first-time commenter, but I was wondering if you noticed that in the hotel room, when Prince Edward’s flipping through channels, he actually comes across Mortimer Snerd and Charlie McCarthy in a scene from Fun and Fancy Free! Don’t know what TV channel would be showing that movie, but where a demon puppet pirate with monocle has a will, he will have a way.

      1. Wow, who knew? (You, apparently.) I was always under the impression that Gaelic is the language, Irish is the nationality (and Celtic is the ethnicity/culture).

      2. It’s complicated. In Irish the language is called Gaeilge and it is one of the gaelic languages. But since around the time of independence the practice has been to refer to it in English as “Irish” to reinforce its status as the national language. French speak French. English speak in English. Irish speak Irish (in theory). Basically if you call it Gaelic in Ireland you’re putting up a big neon sign saying “I come from a land far, far away.”

  10. I have basically no relationship to this film. Saw it once, kind of liked it, not really much of a desire to see it again. I do remember a couple of the songs though, they pop into my head from time to time. I actually think the animation style does work because it sort of does what a parody should, take the often overused and noteworthy things of the original and amplifying it. So it works for me. That’s really about all I can say about this one. Good work Mouse and Erik (the Red)!

  11. *casts Idina Menzel in a Disney musical
    *does not sing
    How dare you. How dare you.
    Yeah, I don’t like this film either. I agree with you that this was much too obvious of a parody. Tangled was (sort of) a parody, and it did it a lot better.
    So, your basic opinion of this movie is Beauty and the Beast x 1000 or something like that, am I right?

  12. I really hated this movie. Not only do I agree with Swanpride that it tries so hard to be a parody of something, that Disney hadn’t done since “The little mermaid”. They had given many good heroines between Ariel and Giselle, who were so much better. Damn it, I even say that Ariel is better than Giselle. At least she knew what she wanted and stuck to it. But when I see Giselle choose Robert over Edward, we’re supposed to think that “oh, she has found real love”. But to me she only comes across as a complete flake, who easily could fall in love with a third man only a week later. And how painfully forced wasn’t it to see Edward suddenly hook up with Robert’s ex-girlfriend? Ugh… No, I’m so glad that I never saw this in the theater and spent money on this crap.

  13. I get the feeling this movie couldn’t decide if it wanted to be cruel and pointed or endearing and nudge-nudge-wink-wink with its parody. It’s . . . disquieting.

    I do like Nancy’s itty bitty baby story arc (I even like that cell phone bit at the wedding) and I particularly like the exploration of Nathaniel’s relationship with Narissa. Enchanged and Princess and the Frog, imho, do the best job of examining what it’s like for the short, fat, English-accented sidekicks, always getting the knocks but never the breaks. (PatF does it better.) And I do like watching the scene for “That’s How You Know.” Other than that, this movie has a whole lot of nothing to recommend it. Mediocre pretty much sums it up.

  14. On the one hand, I do agree that there are weak moments in the film- the ending where Robert’s fiance goes with Edward feels a bit too abrupt to be believable, and your point about this movie being so much better when it’s about the love story than a parody rings true- it feels like it doesn’t quite know when to praise and when to lambast Ye Olde Disney Cliches. But if there’s one accusation I keep seen thrown at it, that I don’t get, it’s that it feels mean. Maybe it is just the blood of cruel bloodthirsty invaders coursing through my Nordic veins, but I can’t ever really see what people see as meanspirited about this- it’s pretty darn soft in my eyes. Maybe I’m just so used to South Park as my benchmark for “mean”, and this movie never reaches that level. But all in all, I think I’m more on Erik’s side in this. It’s not super high quality film-making, but sweet enough on it’s own. Also, How Does She Know. Under-rated gem, but then again we may just have different tastes as I for once consider Frozen to be as “meh” musically as the later crop of Disney movies, with only one memorable song in the whole movie.
    Yeah. Frozen will be an amusing challenge, if by “amusing” one means ” a blood-soaked battlefield from which only one of us shall escape with his life”, or perhaps “a movie that’s kinda divise and it will be interesting to see what you praise about it because man I guess it’s pretty decent but I just do not get all the uber-hype man”.
    But that doesn’t sound as dramatic or as entertaining as “a blood-soaked battlefield from which only one of us shall escape with his life”, so I’ma go with that.

      1. Yea I pretty much agree with you on this movie- nothing special. I have to disagree with the previous poster about the songs in Frozen being weak- I love all of them. Even the fixer upper song, which I wasn’t too keen on at first, has grown on me, though its easily the weakest in an otherwise great soundtrack; I would compare it to the a guy like you song in hunchback, in an otherwise great soundtrack. I personally loved Frozen and Tangled, which surprised me as I’m not a huge fan of CGI animation. I also disagree with those that said Anna’s only purpose is to marry a man. She is obviously desperate for any kind of human contact, being so lonely and bored for most of her life. However, I’m more of an Elsa fan, and the main thing I love about this movie is the relationship between the sisters, which I can totally relate to. I’m looking forward to your Frozen review Mouse, and am wondering when you are going to review Tangled?

  15. Not sure if this has been said before but Nancy and Edward originally had a song. It just got cut late in production. Anyway Idina Menzel actually said she felt flattered to be hired exclusively for her acting talents. She doesn’t have much screentime but the scene where she walks in on Robert and Giselle is hysterical – especially “she’s married?” and “I didn’t realise you were worried about crowd control”. Likewise her line “Kiss her, Robert. It’s okay” – she really conveys a lot of emotion.

    I love this movie shamelessly but I think I agree with The Nostalgia Critic’s assessment of it; it’s sort of a Shallow Parody. Disney themselves had been debunking the criticisms of their vintage films in the Disney Renaissance – with proactive heroines like Ariel, Belle, Pocahontas etc and more developed romances. So this film making a big deal about Giselle saving Robert doesn’t seem like much since Ariel had already saved her prince back in 1989. This does make a little more sense when you realise this was originally scripted back in 1994 when it would have been a lot more relevant. But to me it’s just a fun film if you’re a diehard Disney fan

  16. If Narissa had that portal, I would have expected her to invade New York and then the world while she’s doing her shopping, not stick to just this fairyland

  17. Ahh man, you guys had me at the first “England is overseas to the Irish” joke. I could tell right then, this was going to be a blast. Kind of like how Mouse only gets to do half of this one, seeing as Enchanted is only half animated (though strangely enough, the animated half apparently isn’t animated by Disney).

    I was expecting the hissing cat to pop up again and get Mouse after the live action bit started. Remember the old times when that cat would always show up during the live action sequences? I guess I can find it fitting for it to not show up now though, seeing as by this time I’d stopped having an aversion to watching live action movies that weren’t Mary Poppins. And I dunno, I’d probably be pretty freaked by an angry red panda jump scare, but then again, I’m not that hard to freak out. And maybe not that hard to make laugh. That Mel Blanc bit just sounded like a “rabbit” metaphor and cracked me up.

    Nit wants me to inform you that you seemingly compared Nathaniel to Gaston when you mean to compare him to LeFou. I think. As for the troll, do I get the sense that maybe Edward’s giving it the beating was possibly a “take that” to Shrek as well? By the sounds of it, you may think so. Hmm, can I beat you all at the pun game by saying drinking Enchanted’s milkshake probably gave Frozen brain freeze? So then Frozen got frozen? Ha ha ha? *goes to door, hanging head*

  18. Ok, how about I just leave “Dogwarts University” where Nick Park’s Gromit graduated right here and maybe make up for that pun. Are we good now? And can I also point out that attempted drowning was actually played lightly in a Disney movie once? Remember when the not-really-evil-just-kind-of-dickish mermaids tried to drown Wendy or at least joked about it? I think Narissa could have pulled it off being further to the left on the alignment spectrum from Ariel’s forebears. Though there would be no movie then, so eh.

    I’m surprised no one brought up the “princesses are crazy because they’re royalty, thus inbred” joke, though maybe that would have been a bit off-colour? In any case, loving your “boyfriend points to husband points” currency rate bit. And wow, how did I not see the Rita line make its comeback? I thought you’d learned your lesson after the Yzma incident, Repulsa. Though I did remember that *some*body COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT THE LAZY BASTARD KOOKABURRAS LINE! That cat jump scare must have caused a memory lapse for you, Mouse.

    Nagging aside, loved the final brick joke with the shark. I didn’t even see it coming. Guess that just gives you another reason to love fish, eh Mouse? Fun review, loved all the banter, nice work you two!

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