A Saint Patrick’s Day Message from the Unshaved Mouse


As is customary at this time of year I’d like to wish you all a very happy Lá Féile Pádraig, especially to those Irish who’ve had to leave their homeland, and those of Irish descent scattered to the four corners of the Earth. The Irish diaspora is vast, spread across every continent, but the ties that bind us are eternal. We are one people, one family, no matter if providence decrees that we be parted.

For centuries, Irishmen and women have taken that long voyage, travelling to far and distant lands and there they have waited.


I would especially like to extend my best wishes to those Irish who have managed to infiltrate key positions of power in various military departments, national governments and nuclear power plants.

To those dear departed exiles, and their families I have this heartfelt message:


Yes. The time is at last upon us! Our meticulous plan to establish a massive diaspora in every nation as a prelude to world conquest finally comes to fruition! THEY SHALL BOW BEFORE US!


Or you know, we could just do what we always do and get completely pissed and say “Oh it’s fine, we’ll just conquer the world next year.” I mean, I don’t mean to be a nag but we’ve been putting this off every year since 1762 and frankly I’m starting to think that some of you don’t even want to conquer the world! I mean, it honestly feels like I’m the only one who wants to overthrow every government on earth and force all humanity to cower beneath the boot of their freckly overlords. There, I said it. And if you’re not going to treat this seriously, maybe I won’t even celebrate Patrick’s Day with you this year.

Yeah, I’m joining the Welsh. Screw you guys.



  1. Don’t know what kind of cheese, but he definitely needs to share.

    As far as overthrowing the government goes, that’s a normal Tuesday around here.

    All Hail The Red Rooster! All Hail The Red Rooster! All Hail The Red Rooster!

    1. Comrade Crow shall dominate and laughs in the face of the Rooster who claims, yet fails to be “Red”!!

  2. Aw, now I feel guilty for not wearing green today…
    In all seriousness, Happy St. Paddy’s Day! Since I actually have some Irish blood in me, I’ll have to have some celebration today!
    Also, found this children’s short about St. Patrick himself that I found mildly entertaining, so I’d like to hear your thoughts on this:

  3. But Mouse . . . taking over the world is so passé at this point in history. Hell, Nostalgia Critic used to mock that business goal all the time until even the joke itself became threadbare.

    I say, go bigger.

  4. You say “Operation Emerald Dawn”, I hear “Case Nightmare Green.”

    Ia, ia, Mouse Fhtagn!

    (I can’t be the only one who reads that series, right?)

  5. Happy Belated St. Patrick’s Day to you, Mouse! Among a million other things, I’m part-Welsh as well, so I’ll see you on the flip side.

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