Month: September 2015

#06 Garret Fitzgerald

Name: Garret Fitzgerald
Party: Fine Gael
Terms served: June ’81-March’82, December ’82-March ’87, 
We Irish tend to view our politicians with the mixture of pity, loathing and disgust normally reserved for the kind of people who have to go door to door whenever they move to a new neighbourhood. A big exception to that rule is Garret Fitzgerald. We Irish love us some Garret Fitzgerald. To this day he’s remembered fondly as a man of principle, integrity and humanity and also because in his later years he bore a passing resemblance to Tom Baker.
"Care for a jelly baby?"

“Care for a jelly baby?”

Not just a politician, Fitzgerald was also one of our foremost men of letters, writing for The Economist and the Irish Times where he was a contributor for almost sixty years. And a great Taoiseach right? Riiiiiiight?
Shurg

(more…)

# 07: Eamon de Valera

Name: Eamon de Valera
Party: Fianna Fáil
Terms of Office: December ‘37-February ‘48, May ’51-May ’54, March ’57-June ‘59
Ah. The big one. Right so.
Great Man History, or the historical method of viewing past events as some great epic story whose course is controlled by a handful of heroes and villains, is largely bunk. World War 2 was not a personal duel between Hitler, Churchill, Roosevelt, Tojo and Stalin but the result of a billion different political, military and economic factors all crashing into each other. Real history is incredibly complicated, massively messy and almost entirely too big for any human being to comfortably conceive. And yet, the thirties, forties and fifties of Irish history really feel as if they belonged solely to one man: Eamon de Valera. In Ireland Dev personifies that whole era of our history in the same way that Andrew Jackson did his in the States, and like Jackson the appraisal of his legacy is incredibly controversial and getting more negative with every passing year. I quite purposefully put de Valera right smack dab in the middle of the rankings. For me, Dev is like a ninja assassin. I disagree morally with what he did, but I have to admit he was, very, very good at it.
Ironically, despite being the towering figure of Irish history for much of the twentieth century, Dev wasn’t born here. He was born in New York in the 1880s to an Irish émigré named Catherine Coll and her husband, the Spaniard Juan DeValara. Maybe. The historical record on this is actually super sketchy and no marriage certificate for Dev’s parents has ever come to light. In fact, no evidence has ever come to light that Juan de Valera even existed, leaving questions of his parentage and legitimacy that would dog de Valera all his life.
Lost Targaryen Prince. Calling it now.

Lost Targaryen Prince. Calling it now.

Anyway, after Juan’s death (uh-huh), the now widowed (riiiiiiiight) Catherine sent the infant Eamon to Ireland to be raised by his grandparents. He grew up an excellent student and devout Catholic, even considering joining the priesthood before deciding against it because of the issue of his possible bastardy. He became active in the Irish independence movement and joined the Irish Republican Brotherhood, a secret society that had controlled or influenced virtually every Irish freedom organisation both political and military since the 1850’s. He was a commander during the Easter Rising of 1916 and just barely escaped being executed by the British because of American diplomatic pressure. As quite literally the last man standing of the rising’s leaders, de Valera was elected president of Sinn Féin, a political party formed to win total independence from Great Britain (as opposed to the wishy-washy “Home Rule” that the Irish Parliamentary Party had been trying and failing to get for decades). Sinn Féin had been founded by a man named Arthur Griffith who was an absolutely brilliant thinker (also a bit of an anti-Semite, but you can’t have everything). Griffith’s ground-breaking notion was this: instead of trying to win Irish independence within the British power structure, simply set up an Irish government with its own departments, police force, postal service, bureaucracy and ignore the British government until it goes away. Absolutely revolutionary. Might even have worked. As it turned out, Sinn Féin under de Valera did succeed in creating an entire alternate government capable of providing services that equalled (and in some cases even proved superior to) the British institutions they were competing against. This is especially incredibly when you consider that we’re talking about an illegal organisation running a government while being on the run from the government. But Griffith’s vision was for non-violent resistance to British rule and that did not happen. Because while Sinn Féin under de Valera was wresting political control from the British, the Irish Republican Army under Michael Collins was showing them this new thing he’d invented called “modern urban guerrilla combat” and why that was going to be something of a game changer for the rest of the twentieth century.
During this time de Valera toured America to raise publicity for the Irish cause and to try and get Woodrow Wilson to acknowledge the Irish Republic. He didn’t get recognition, but he did win significant support and donations for the Irish cause. He also visited the Chippewa reservation and spoke of the shared history of oppression and colonialism of Native Americans and the Irish people. He was then made an honorary chief of the tribe, and I get to use this picture.
This is a good day.

This is a good day.

Back home, the war raged on until finally the British sued for peace. de Valera then made one of the most controversial and debated decisions of his entire career (which is saying a whole heap). With peace negotiations scheduled in London, the expectation was that Dev would lead the Irish delegation himself. Instead, he decided to sit this one out and sent Michael Collins in his place. Now, the deal that the Irish delegation ended up getting was, in retrospect, pretty darn good. Ireland would get dominion status, essentially the same relationship to Britain as Canada and Australia. Ireland would have its own flag, and its own freely elected government.

(more…)

#08: Albert Reynolds

Name: Albert Reynolds
Party: Fianna Fáil
Terms: February ’92-December ‘94
“Interesting” would be the word to describe Albert Reynolds’ life even before he became the most powerful man in the country. He grew up in rural Sligo, the son of a coach maker, and left a secure civil service job to pursue a wide range of business activities like selling fish, running dancehalls and cinemas and owning what Wikipedia calls  a “bacon factory” but I’m going to out on a limb and assume was either a pig farm or a slaughterhouse.
"But…then where did they build the pigs?"

“But…then where did they build the pigs?”

He got into politics in his mid-forties and helped Charles Haughey get the support he needed for his successful leadership challenge and as a reward was given the position of Minister for Transport. This put Reynolds in the middle of one of the downright  weirdest incidents in recent Irish history where a deranged Australian ex-Trappist monk named Laurence Downey hijacked an Irish plane to France (Iran was his first choice but he was told there wasn’t enough gas in the tank).  Downey claimed that he had read the Third Secret of Fatima (a religious prophecy that supposedly revealed the End of Days) and wanted to force the Pope to reveal it to the world. Reynolds was in Paris as the Irish government’s man on the ground during the crisis.
He then spent the rest of his time in France with a sexy linguist fleeing an albino monk.

He then spent the rest of his time in France with a sexy linguist fleeing an albino monk.

(more…)

#09: Bertie Ahern

Name: Bertie Ahern
Party: Fianna Fáil
Terms: June 1997-May 2008
Bertie Ahern is quite possibly the most hated Taoiseach on this list. Haughey’s been dead long enough that the rage has had time to cool into dispassionate loathing, and DeValera now belongs so totally to the ancient past that hating him is like getting your dander up over the atrocities of Genghis Khan. There’s Kenny, of course, who by now has probably brought more people onto the streets than Public Enemy, but I think Bertie still has him beat in the sheer visceral loathing he incites in many people. For Bertie (and you will never, ever hear him referred to as “Ahern”) this is a hard fall for a man who was once the most popular politician in the country. Irish people tend to view their politicians with a mixture of pity, loathing and withering contempt but people genuinely liked Bertie. He had a cuddly, non-threatening demeanour and a thick, reassuring Northside Dublin accent (Northsiders are well known to be princes among men, and the very salt of the earth). The reality though, was that Bertie was a political animal of the first calibre. His mentor, Charles Haughey, was even quoted as saying “He is the most skilful, the most devious, the most ruthless of them all”.
"The Dark Side is strong with you, my young apprentice.”

“The Dark Side is strong with you, my young apprentice.”

(more…)

#10: John A. Costello

Name: John A.Costello
Party: Fine Gael
Terms: February 1948-June 1951, June 1954-March 1957
Hands in the air. When I began researching this series, I did not have a clue that this guy even existed. That’s unbelievable. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m not an expert on Irish politics. I do not claim to be an expert on Irish politics. And if you are labouring under the delusion that I am an expert in Irish politics I am sure that there will be plenty of people in the comments willing to set you straight. But still, the fact that there was a guy running my country who I’d never even heard of was kind of eye-opening. I had this notion that the early years of the Irish state went like this: War of Independence, Civil War and then Eamon DeValera latched onto the nation like a lamprey which caused the fifties to happen (not just here, but worldwide). I’d had an idea of DeValera’s tenure as Taoiseach being monolithic and unbroken, but in fact Mr Personality up there actually managed to wrest control from him for a total of six years. It was like finding a Taoiseach where you least expect it, Costello loose change down the back of the sofa that was Eamon DeValera. So, was his tenure as Taoiseach as memorable and exciting as the man himself? Was it ever!

(more…)

And so, the final battle commences…

Okay guys. Here’s the situation. We’re in the final quarter. Bases are loaded. Injury time. Gretsky has the ball. Sports.

Unshaved Mouse has been shortlisted for Best Art and Culture Blog and, unlike in previous years, I might actually have a bloody shot at this.

The shortlist is down to 28 blogs. That’s doable. That’s beatable. But I need your help.

This year is different from last year. There are only going to be two weeks of voting starting today and, near as I can tell, you can only vote once. So, the good news is I’m not going to be pestering you for votes every week. The bad news is, only 30% of the final score comes from the final vote and the rest will come from some poor judge trying to make sense of this Disney fuelled acid trip I’ve been on for the last three years.

"What is this madness?! I never trained for this!!"

“What is this madness?! I never trained for this!!”

So please, click on the image below and vote for Unshaved Mouse. Your support is, as always, hugely appreciated.

Vote for Us Buttons 300x2505

 

#11: Charles J. Haughey

Name: Charles J. Haughey
Party: Fianna Fáíl
Terms of Office: December ’79-June ’81, March ’82 –September ’82, March ’87-February ‘92
 
Little piece of advice. Say you’re a politician and they decide to make a TV series about your life. If the guy they cast to play you is Lord Petyr Baelish himself, consider that you may have been a shady motherfucker.
“I did warn you not to trust me.”

“I did warn you not to trust me.”

CJ was already fairly synonymous with shady motherfuckery before he even became Taoiseach. As Minister for Finance in the late sixties under Jack Lynch, Haughey became embroiled in the Arms Crisis. See, it was around this time that the Troubles were being particularly Troublesome, by which I mean things were threatening to blow up into a full on civil war and hundreds of Catholic refugees were fleeing south to escape the violence. Haughey and another minister named Neil Blaney were put in charge of a committee to distribute humanitarian aid to Catholic communities in Northern Ireland that were under siege and apparently at some point the group decided: “Know what this situation needs? Guns.”
 Spongebob
Soooo…a plan was hatched to import weapons into the country to be given to the IRA with the help of a Belgian Nazi (I am not making any of that up).

(more…)

# 12: Liam Cosgrave

Name: Liam Cosgrave
Party: Fine Gael 
Terms: March 1973-July 1977
I started this project in part because I’m ridiculously ignorant on the politics of my own country. Seriously, I can tell you who the current House Minority Leader in the United States is and can name around half of the six million Republican presidential candidates but for the love of God don’t ask me who my local TD is. And my knowledge of the Taoisigh was spotty at best. Liam Cosgrave is one that I knew next to nothing about going in and I gotta say, having read up on him?
Not a fan.
Cosgrave was the son of none other than W.T. Cosgrave, our first Taoiseach.
"Gesundheit."

“Gesundheit.”

He was elected to the Dáil in the forties during his father’s long period as leader of the opposition before being appointed Minister for External Affairs (great name, innit?) under John Costello during which time he finally got Ireland into the UN where the USSR had been vetoing our membership for around a decade.
Heh. Better luck next time, Stalin.

Cosgrave 1. Stalin 0.

In 1965 Cosgrave ran for leadership of Fine Gael and won it in a walk, as both the heir of the party’s first parliamentary leader and a pretty accomplished politician in his own right. Cosgrave  soon began pissing away that goodwill as he seemed to have a funny idea about what the leader of the opposition is supposed to do. Cosgrave hated militant republicans the way God hates the Oxford comma and when Jack Lynch’s government brought in some fairly draconian anti-terrorism legislation Cosgrave backed the government to the hilt, to the horror of the more liberal elements of his own party. By the time the fiftieth anniversary of the State had rolled around many of these liberals were looking to oust him from the leadership position. Cosgrave addressed their concerns calmly and reasonably in an address at Fine Gael’s Ard Fheis (party conference) saying “… some of these commentators and critics are now like mongrel foxes; they are gone to ground but I’ll dig them out, and the pack will chop them when they get them”.
"He's craaaaaaazy..."

“He’s craaaaaaazy…”

(more…)

Disney Reviews with the Unshaved Mouse #54: Big Hero 6

(DISCLAIMER: This blog is not for profit. All images and footage used below are property of their respective companies unless stated otherwise. I do not claim ownership of this material. New to the blog? Start at the start with Snow White.)
And so, like putting on an old comfortable pair of shoes, I return again to the Disney canon. Good to be back everyone, feels like I never left. Unshaved Mouse doing what he was always meant to do, reviewing Disney movies! Put the Disney dance party album on repeat because the whole gang’s here! Including my collection of traitorous good for nothing maps who betrayed and abandoned me the very second things got rough and have now come crawling back like the worms they are.
“Hooray!”

“Hooray!”

“Ah, don’t be like that, Mouse.”

“Ah, don’t be like that, Mouse.”

“Don’t talk to me.”

“Don’t talk to me.”

"'S only ever love, M. You know that."

“‘S only ever love, M. You know that.”

“Where did you go anyway?”

“Where did you go anyway?”

“We just hung around with Rubber Lotus for a while. At first it was fun, but then it got a little weird. He kept asking us to call him “Mouse”. Did you know he has a shrine to you in his wardrobe?”

“We just hung around with Rubber Lotus for a while. At first it was fun, but then it got a little weird. He kept asking us to call him “Mouse”. Did you know he has a shrine to you in his wardrobe?”

“Yeah. Shrines. Never not creepy.”

“Yeah. Shrines. Never not creepy.”

And of course, since I’ll be reviewing a Disney movie that means the return of our old pal Walt Disney!
“Hello folks! Good to be back, Mouse. Glad to see there’s no hard feelings over that whole “brainwashing” thing.”

“Hello folks! Good to be back, Mouse. Glad to see there’s no hard feelings over that whole “brainwashing you to do my dark bidding” thing.”

“None. What. So. Ever.”

“None. What. So. Ever.”

"Glad to hear it. Say, you keep gritting your teeth like that you might chip your incisors."

“Glad to hear it. Say, you keep gritting your teeth like that you might chip your incisors.”

After the marriage of Disney and Marvel, the two companies did what many couples do in this situation; put their children from previous marriages in a room together and try to force them to like each other. In this case, Disney CEO Bob Iger told the Disney animators to look through Marvel’s back catalogue to see if they could find properties that would make good animated movies. Now, people who’ve followed my blog from the beginning know that when Disney adapts other properties, fidelity to the source material is not usually high on their list of priorities. Marvel fans, conversely, have a list of priorities that reads
Priorities
Marvel fans tend to get a little…um….Rain Man-esque…about movies changing even small details about their favourite characters, and films that don’t respect the source material tend to get eaten alive like a cow being dipped in a vat of piranhas.
Poor bastards never had a chance.

Poor bastards never had a chance.

So it’s not really surprising that the comic that Don Hall (director of Winnie the Pooh and writer on most of the Lost Era movies) chose the comic Big Hero 6 to adapt instead of a better known property because…well, no one gives a piping hot shit about Big Hero 6 and this way they could mess around with it as much as they needed to. In the comics Big Hero 6 is a Japanese superhero team that operates as a parody of Japanese pop culture tropes. I haven’t read the comic myself but reading up on it raised a few red flags for me, number one being that the mini-series they first appeared in was written by Scott Lobdell, a writer whose work is (if I may be horribly blunt) not my cup of tea.
Secondly…Okay, there are those who would consider this kind of broad cultural parody to be racist in and of itself. I’m not one of them. Irish people come in for a good bit of this kind of thing and I think as a nation our general attitude is…
all in good fun
But…some of the details about this book, like the fact that one of their enemies is the embodiment of all the people who were killed in the nuclear attacks on Hiroshima and Nagasaki…
New spittake
Yeah, I think we can all agree that “loose adaptation” was probably the way to go on this one.
So much for the book. What about the movie? Oh, and while I’m not in the habit of putting up spoiler warnings I’m aware this movie only came out in 2014 so yeah, I will be discussing all major plot points just like I always do. If you haven’t seen the movie yet, get on that. The rest of you? Let’s roll.

#13: Brian Cowen

Name: Brian Cowen.
Party: Fianna Fáil
Term of office: May 2008 to March 2011
Well, this dead horse ain’t gonna beat itself. I would almost almost be willing to give Cowen a pass. I mean, he came into office in mid 2008, the recession started around September when he was probably still getting his correspondence sent to his old address. It’s not his fault, right? I mean, most of the bad decisions that led to Ireland’s rather spectacular fall from economic grace were made long before he took office, right?
Well yes. They were. By him. When he was Minister for Finance from 2004 to 2008.

Well yes. They were. By him. When he was Minister for Finance from 2004 to 2008.

Calling Brian Cowen the worst Taoiseach is probably not going to be that controversial (he said, sweet naïve fool that he was) because the sheer scale of his failures simply dwarf those of his predecessors. Cowen was not a crook, and he wasn’t a liar. He was something far more dangerous; an ordinary bloke in WAY over his head.

(more…)