Missed you all!
So, what’s next on the old docket? Why what’s this? A canon Disney movie? One of the films that this very blog was established to review?
Why, this is something of an occasion! Maybe we’ll have lots of cameos from long running characters like The Horned King or Walt Disney himself? Maybe a long and overly complicated kidnapping arc? Might Otto Von Bismarck appear? He bloody might!
But before surgery commences, I want to talk about conspiracy theories.
Conspiracy Theories, counter-intuitively, are a way to make the world seem less scary, to make sense of an otherwise terrifyingly random existence.
To many Americans, the idea that a shadowy cabal within the US government would kill a sitting president of the United States was actually a less unsettling prospect than the idea that some random nutjob could decide to kill the most powerful man on Earth and just…do it.
Or that a lunatic fundamentalist in a cave with a few followers and some bolt cutters could have handed the US its most devastating attack on home soil since Pearl Harbour. Or that…a majority of Americans just didn’t think that Donald Trump should get another term.
Which is why, if you’re about to get angry at me for bringing up the extremely well known conspiracy theory that Wish was either wholly or partly the creation of generative AI, I think you’re missing the point. To understand a conspiracy theory’s appeal, you have to look not at the theory itself but the reality that it would replace if it were true. People want to believe that Wish is AI generated because it’s less scary than believing that this is just the kind of film that Disney’s creative process produces now.
Recently I gave an interview for a podcast where we discussed how the publishing industry is becoming totally, crushingly data driven and where books are increasingly commissioned, marketed and read for and by micro-targeted audiences. Books are becoming products rather than pieces of art, not something the artist wrote because they cared about it but because the algorithim says that Becky in Minnesota is jonsing for an enemies-to-lovers mafia werewolf story. And this isn’t just limited to publishing, the whole entertainment industry is sick with it.
So I know why so many people believe this theory is true*, because the reality is actually scarier. The same market and technological forces that make AI art so…off are now infecting even human created art. The machines aren’t just getting more human-like. We’re meeting them in the middle.
Although…okay, I’ll be honest here. Before I’d seen the movie I thought the whole notion that it was an AI generated film was ridiculous. Because of course Disney would not be able to keep that a secret. Of course they wouldn’t risk it when the prevailing legal wisdom is that AI generated content can’t be copywrited. Of course it’s insane to suggest that Disney would get so spooked by the Writer’s Strike that they would look for a way to cut creatives out of the process rather than having to deal with unionised labour (this is Disney we’re talking about people, Disney!).
And yet, having seen the movie? I’m…honestly not so certain. It just has all the hallmarks. That weird Stepford Wives flavour of bland and weird. The nonsensical plot. The “no soap, radio!” quality of the dialogue. The LYRICS. Oh my word. Actually, I take that back. I asked WordPress’s AI bot to write a better villain song than “This is the Thanks I get?” and this is the song I got:
Title: Shadowed Desires
(Verse 1)
In the depths of darkness I arise,
Forged in treachery and lies,
My ambition burning bright,
Beneath the stars that mock my plight.
(Pre-Chorus)
Every sliver of discontent,
Feeds the hunger, my intent,
To claim what’s rightfully mine,
And leave the world in my design.
(Chorus)
I’ll carve my name in history’s stone,
The throne is calling, I’ll claim my own,
No hero’s heart can staunch the fire,
Of my shadowed, relentless desire.
(Verse 2)
Watch the puppet strings I deftly weave,
As I spin webs to deceive,
Luring all into my grasp,
They’ll kneel before my chilling rasp.
(Pre-Chorus)
Every whisper, every breath,
Carries echoes of my conquest,
No force can quell this rising tide,
I’ll rule with darkness as my guide.
(Chorus)
I’ll carve my name in history’s stone,
The throne is calling, I’ll claim my own,
No hero’s heart can staunch the fire,
Of my shadowed, relentless desire.
(Bridge)
They’ll tremble at my wicked decree,
As I shape a world to bow to me,
No savior can undo my reign,
My legacy forged in endless bane.
(Chorus)
I’ll carve my name in history’s stone,
The throne is calling, I’ll claim my own,
No hero’s heart can staunch the fire,
Of my shadowed, relentless desire.
(Outro)
I’ll carve my name in history’s stone,
The throne is calling, I’ll claim my own,
No hero’s heart can staunch the fire,
Of my shadowed, relentless desire.
And you know what? Little on the nose. Rather obvious imagery. But I at least feel like the bot understood the assignment.
We get a story-book opening where our narrator, Asha, gives us the history of the Kingdom of Rosas, a tiny island in the Mediterranean Sea. The kingdom was founded by King Magnifico and his wife Amaya with the purpose of protecting people’s wishes. See, Magnifico realised that wishes are what drive people through life…
But that sometimes people’s wishes don’t come true and that makes them sad.
So he created a kingdom where, when ever a citizen turns eighteen, they give him their wish for safe-keeping and then they forget about it. And every month, Magnifico chooses a wish to grant. Everyone seems to be okay with this system and enters into it with a clear understanding of how it works.
So…right off the bat I am baffled by this. Magnifico has a lot going for him. He’s voiced by Chris Pine who is a seriously underrated voice actor and singer. I like the design well enough. And magocracies are cool, who doesn’t love a good magocracy? But Magnifico just doesn’t make sense as a character. He starts out as a peasant boy whose family are massacred by thieves. He studies magic. He becomes the most powerful sorcerer in the world. With you so far. Then he establishes a kingdom and starts doing weird shit with wishes.
What the fuck? How did we get from Magical Batman Origin Story to this guy basically running what amounts to a lottery?
We cut to Asha’s house where the narration is revealed to be her talking to her 100 year old grandfather Sabino who presumably already knows this shit. Asha lives with Sabino and her mother Sakina and her Happy Meal bait pet goat Valentino, who manages the seemingly impossible task of making me unhappy to have more Alan Tudyk in my life. Now, I’m going to be critiquing this movie’s…everything pretty much and that includes the animation. But, this one I actually feel a little guilty about because it is at least trying to do something that the canon has desperately needed for a while. That is, it’s trying to innovate and shake up the house style.
For almost 15 years now, Disney’s canon features have been tangled in, well, Tangled. That movie’s art-style and aesthetic have dictated how these movies look. And while I absolutely adore most of those films, there’s no question that the canon needed to innovate and move on. And Wish does do that. Unfortunately, I don’t think it works.
So, the movie eschews the hyper-real look of Tangled for more of a “Hand-Drawn 3D” look. That’s honestly not a bad idea. If you’re not going to celebrate Disney’s centenary with a proper traditional 2d animation (which would be a VERY good idea but who cares what I think?) then going down this route is an acceptable middle ground. In fact, this style has been used very effectively in the Spider-Verse films and Puss in Boots 2. Unfortunately, those movies had visual flair and fantastic direction whereas Wish just feels safe and unambitious in comparison. Also, how fucking sad is it that DISNEY, the greatest American animation studio in history bar none is left playing catchup with goddamned SONY? Strange times, my friends.
Okay, so it’s Sabino’s birthday and Asha tells him that she’s really confident that he’s finally going to get his wish granted. You know…I’m pretty sure that if I reach 100 and the wish I made when I was eighteen comes true that will not end well.
Asha works at the palace as a kind of tour guide for new visitors to Rosas and we get our first song; Welcome to Rosas. It’s…not terrible. The beat is actually kinda catchy and the lyrics at least sound like something that a human wrote. That human being someone who really, really, really wishes they were Lin Manuel Miranda and isn’t.
Her song done, Asha runs into the kitchen and meets her friend Dahlia who is the leader of the seven teens, basically what would happen if the Seven Dwarfs and the Burger King Kids club were Tuvixed in a transporter accident. She greets Dahlia with this line:
“Help me! Best friend and honorary doctor of all things rational my interview is in one hour and I’m so nervous I think I’m going to explode!”
I’m sorry, no. You can’t get mad at people for saying AI wrote this script. That is how AI talks. That is not people speak. Human no talk like that.
Also, really? “Honorary Doctor of all things rational?”. That’s the most elegant way of letting the audience know she’s the “Doc” of the group? Jesus Christ.
Anyway, Asha gets into an argument with the “Grumpy” of the group, Gabo, Gabo, GABO!
Gabo implies that Asha wants to become Magnifico’s apprentice so that she can corruptly rig the system and get her grandfather’s wish granted, something that Asha angrily denies and which is absolutely, 100% correct. Queen Amaya arrives in the kitchen to tell Asha that it’s time for her interview. As they ascend the stairs, Amaya briefs her on the apprentice’s duties saying that some of the things she might have to do for him “might seem strange, but why a sorcerer needs what a sorcerer needs is not your concern”. Which…yikes.
Asha meets Magnifico after triggering a magic alarm he’s placed around a secret evil mysterious book of evil. They get talking and form a bond over their losses (Asha’s father died of illness and Magnifico’s parents, as discussed previously, were lost due to him being magical Batman). The dialogue in this scene is really clunky and on the nose, which is why it’s such a testament to Chris Pine and Ariana DeBose that it kinda…works? I don’t hate this scene. Magnifico takes Asha to see the wishes which are just blue globes floating around his room like globs of wax in a lava lamp. They both sing At All Costs which is a kind of a…love song? I guess? Magnifico and Asha sing to the wishes how they’ll never let anything bad happen to them. I’m kinda conflicted on this one because the melody is actually quite nice and both Pine and DeBose are really selling the fuck out of it. But the lyrics are just…weird. This movie does not deal well with words, lemme tell ya.
So, Magnifico, no doubt glad to find an apprentice he can harmonise with, offers Asha the job. Asha wastes no time abusing her position and asks Magnifico to grant her grandfather’s wish.
Magnifico is (quite understandably) hurt at this sudden, immediate cashing in on her newfound power and influence but agrees to take a look at Sabino’s wish. He says that Sabino’s wish, “to inspire the next generation” is simply too vague and therefore dangerous. Uh…I’m sorry, am I supposed to think that Magnifico is wrong here? Ask yourself, how many stories have you seen where a vaguely worded wish leads to disaster? Fuck, how many wish stories have you seen where a poorly worded wish doesn’t have have some kind of terrible repercussion for the wisher?
As Magnifico points out “inspire the next generation” could mean LITERALLY ANYTHING.
You know who inspired the next generation? HITLER.
Magnifico tells Asha that’s a hard pass and she is shocked to realise that most of the wishes will never be granted.
Asha. Sweetie. You know this. You HAVE to know this. You…you told us that. You said Magnifico chooses which wishes to grant which obviously implies that there are wishes that he does not choose to grant.
And look at all these!
More people are coming to the kingdom every day. He’s granting TWELVE A YEAR. You HAVE to know that he’s not going to grant all of them. EVERYONE HAS TO KNOW THAT. THIS SYSTEM MAKES NO SENSE OTHERWISE.
This system makes no sense anyway, but this is the part that is pertinent for our current discussion. Getting back to the lottery analogy, Asha’s basically showed up to work and is horrified to learn that not everyone that plays a scratch-card wins. HOW did you not get this? The ceremony happens and, obviously, Magnifico does not grant Sabino’s wish and tells Asha that she didn’t get the job. At dinner, Asha tells her grand-father that she saw his wish and that it was beautiful but that it’ll never be granted. And Sabino stands up and says “are you trying to break my heart, child?!” and what the fuck is this shot?!
Look, I didn’t go to film school. I know practically nothing about cinematography and even I know this shot is wrong. This is a big, emotional beat and look at this. Medium distance, Sabino is facing sideways so we’re missing half his face, Asha and her mother are clustered close together so the weight of our focus is pulled away from Sabino onto them and there’s a metric shit ton of dead space on the other side. You hear that sound? It’s Stanley Kubrick puking in rage inside his coffin.
Asha runs out into the lush, green forest which looks about as authentically Mediterranean as Björk and we get our “I Want” song, So I Make This Wish, which is a real pretty song if you don’t speak English as a first language.
Look, you’ve already had the “throw caution to every warning sign” line mocked from here to buggery, you don’t need me for that. Asha sees a star and makes a wish and it crashes into Earth, incinerating all life on the planet.
Hah.
If only.
The townspeople are delighted by the light of the star coming to Earth but Magnifico notices that all the wishes are getting skittish and says “I believe I’ve been threatened” like the sky just pulled a shiv on him or something.
In the forest, discovers that the star has actually come down to Earth and has taken a form seemingly tailor-made to sell plushies.
So Star starts flying around and shedding flakes of star-dandruff any which way and all the animals and plants start eating it and become sentient and start talking. Wait a minute, I’ve seen this before.
Valentino starts talking and is now voiced by Alan Tudyk doing what I think is supposed to be an impression of Patrick Stewart. Oh, wanna know a little fun bit of trivia? Traditionally, many Disney sidekick characters start off in conception as having a posh British accent. Iago had one, Sebastian had one. So i usually take it as a bad sign when a supporting sidekick still has a British accent in the final film. Kinda screams that they half-assed it. The newly ensouled animals then sing I’m a Star, which, ironically, would get anyone singing it booted off You’re A Star. At the end of the song we learn that two of the animals, a bear and a stag, are named “John” and “Bambi”. Okay, stop.
So about the references. I’ll admit, there is a kind of “Where’s Wally?”-esque fun to be had in spotting what movies are being referenced but here’s why it backfires. Wish, which ostensibly is supposed to be a celebration of the last century of Disney, does not feel like a Disney movie. It’s got none of the charm, none of the darkness, none of the heart, nothing. It feels more like a high-end CGI ad for a mobile game than Snow White. To the point where the constant Disney references actually feel less like paying homage than the movie saying “this is actually a Disney movie. Did you forget? Don’t worry, there’ll be another reminder in like two minutes”.
Asha asks Star if it grants wishes and apparently it doesn’t even though we just saw it grant Valentino’s wish to talk so what even the fuck? Asha fills Star in on the whole deal with Magnifico and the wishes and Star apparently suggests that she just steals the wishes back. Well, actually, we just kind of have Asha’s word on that. As far as we the audience are aware, Star just flies around and stares at Asha with the gormless blank gaze of a cereal mascot. I think it’s entirely possible that Asha is just projecting her secret desires onto this barely sentient glob of space goo.
Asha sneaks into the palace with Valentino and Star. Star has knitted some yarn into a little outfit and starts shimmying around in it and Valentino says “thank you, I feel seen”.
Okay. Bring out the wall of shame.
Okay, do you know what I would do if was put in charge of Disney Animation? Have a nervous breakdown and run it into the ground, obviously. But before that, I would put a massive fucking sign over the door. And it would read:
YOU ARE NOT COOL. YOU ARE CLASSIC.
Disney should not be chasing trends or trying to appeal to “the youth”. Disney should be trying to make movies that kids will still be watching A CENTURY from now. Movies that are timeless, and universal and that don’t age.
Asha recruits the seven teens to help her and sneaks into Magnifico’s study and manages to steal Sabino’s wish. Magnifico summons the townspeople to see if anyone knows anything about the lights in the sky and gets so enraged by people asking about their wishes that he storms back into his study singing This Is The Thanks I Get, our first Honest to God villain song since Mother Knows Best all the way back in Tangled.**
And I’ll confess, that hook is catchy as hell. But this is still a terrible villain song. There’s no menace. There’s no camp. It actually feels more like a hero song. And I suppose you could say it’s a clever subversion because Magnifico is the hero of his own story. You could say that. And I would reply: SHUT UP.
I don’t want a clever subversion. I want THIS.
THIS IS WHAT I WANT.
Am I crazy? Do none of you remember how good we had it? DO NONE OF YOU SEE HOW FAR WE HAVE FALLEN!?
Magnifico finally cracks open the evil book of mysterious evil and is consumed by the raw power of its pure malevolence.
Asha returns home and gives Sabino his wish back and he’s delighted. Magnifico rolls up to the house and tells Asha that somebody ratted her out and demands that she hand over Star. He also destroys Sakina’s wish right in front of her and draws more power from it. With Star’s help they flee and escape.
Meanwhile, Magnifico forges a new staff by destroying three wishes, including the one belonging to the lady who wishes to fly and spends literally every hour of every day by the fountain looking at birds.
Magnifico blames this wish-murder on Asha and tells the people that she must be brought to justice. He then reveals who betrayed her and it turns out it was Simon O’Donoghue, the Sleepy of the Seven Teens?
As a reward, Simon gets his wish granted, which is to be a Knight of Rosas (I didn’t realise the recruitment standards were so strict that you have to resort to literal divine intervention to be allowed to hold a pike but what do I know?). Magnifico then takes complete control of Simon who promptly rats out the rest of the teens who have to go into hiding. Asha tracks them down and we get our next song Knowing What I Know Now it is hot trash moving on. The Queen shows up and is all “oh woe is me, my husband the King is gone mad with power if only some helpful peasants could remove him so that I could rule and be…nice.”
Working together, they hatch a plan to free all the wishes. Asha confronts Magnifico on the roof of the palace where he’s trying to absorb all the power from the wishes. Magnifico is far too powerful for her, but Asha leads the people of Rosas in a sing-along that channels the power of friendship and they all wish on the stars that they are and…I dunno, do the Care Bear countdown or some shit. Their combined power draws their wishes out of Magnifico who then gets sucked into the mirror on his own staff.
The people celebrate Amaya becoming the new Queen, and she is noticeably chill about the love of her life having succumbed to evil magic and now being trapped in a mirror for all eternity. Obviously, we can see where this couple is headed.
And movie ends with Asha becoming a fairy godmother complete with wand and blue cloak. We then get a credits sequence that supposedly references ever canon movie but which makes some rather fascinating omissions. So, apparently, the movies that Disney has black-bagged like Stalin tidying up old party comrades are:
The Rescuers Down Under (Fucking WHAT?)
Which, okay, I understand leaving out sequels and the package films have never got no respect, no change there. But Cauldron? Robinsons? The entire Rescuers saga? What the hell?
Anyway, we then get an after credits sequence of Sabino setting out to write a song that will inspire the next generation which we learn is When You Wish Upon a Star.
That’s right. We were watching the origin story for a FUCKING SONG.
***
So before anyone accuses me of “jumping on the bandwagon” keep in mind this movie came out half a year ago. All the furore has died down by now and I didn’t even pay attention to most of the reviews at the time. I have heard people tell me this movie is nowhere near as bad as its reputation and I purposefully went in with as open a mind as I could.
This movie not only failed to rise to expectations, it tunnelled under them like Bugs Bunny on his way to a carrot convention. In fact, it quickly became apparent to me that the question before me was one that I’ve not had to ask myself for over a decade:
Is this the worst one?
As in, did Disney actually manage to mark their centenary by creating the single worst movie in their 62 film animated feature canon?
Obviously, that would be a very bold claim to make and I wouldn’t make it lightly. So I set myself this test:
I would take my three lowest ranked Disney movies and see if I could find one scene in each of them that I would consider to be better than anything in Wish.
So, first up. Third from the bottom. Brother Bear. I chose the transformation scene.
Fuck yes. Hands down. No question. The music, the animation, the atmosphere. This is easily one of the worst animated films Disney made in 21st century and it is light-years ahead of Wish.
Next up. Home on the Range. Let’s go with the yodelling cattle rustling sequence.
My God. Lyrics that are witty and make sense. Bold and inventive use of colour. And what is this weird sensation? Fun? Is that what you call it?
Yeah, this is also better than Wish and I’m actually feeling nostalgic for goddamned Home on the Motherfucking Range.
Okay. Last stop. My personal bete noir. The canon movie that should never have been considered a canon movie. The unclean one. The Adversary. Dinosaur.
I guess I’ll go with…the asteroid scene.
Hmmmmm…
No. No. Sequences like At Any Cost just about manage to scrape enough fumes of Disney magic to make me prefer Wish over Dinosaur.
Congratulations, Wish. You stopped an inch above Hell itself.
Scoring
Animation: 12/20
Points for trying to shake things up. And maybe they’ll find a way to make this new style work. Right now though, it looks flat and kinda dull.
Lead: 04/20
Standard Disney quirky hero-girl type 24-b. Ariana DeBose is actually very strong but she’s given nothing here. The dialogue is something any actor would struggle to say, let alone elevate and the animation has a tendency to make Asha over-act hideously.
Villain: 04/20
Oh great. Disney are doing villains again.
Supporting Characters: 03/20
Hi ho. Hi Ho. It’s off to suck they go.
Music: 05/20
The melodies are passable but the lyrics are unforgivably awful.
FINAL SCORE: 28%
NEXT UPDATE: 23 May 2024
NEXT TIME: Okay Dreamworks, show ’em how it’s done.
*It’s not true. Probably. I’m like…68% certain it’s not true.
** Fine, Shiny might also qualify, we won’t fight.
unshavedmouse 
I am excited to find this movie at the library and see this spectacular badness I keep hearing about.
Also the yodel scene from Home on the Range is amazing. I see you have Randy Quaid’s performances on your mind.
Wish is weird for me. It’s not terrible for all the reasons you listed but it is aggressively not good.
I remember when Little Kuriboh (aka Martin Billany), the creator of Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged talked about teaming up with TeamFourStar and his work with them made him realize he had to step up his game from just reference humor. Because as fun as references are right now, there’s no guarantee they’ll have the same impact even a year from now. So what’s to be accomplished with all the references here, many of whom are meant to be proper characters and not fun asides for the viewer to catch? Is that the entirety of what they are? Because that is not a film, that’s not even a story, it’s a moving picture version of I Spy.
This film feels so…assembly line manufactured if that makes sense. Maybe not A.I. generated, there’s still the touch of human created. But it’s without any distinctive flair or creativity. If Ralph Breaks the Internet was just a way for Disney to pat itself on the back over all the products they’ve made or acquired then this feels like more of the same with a new coat of paint. It’s such a nothing film.
Anyway, Imma watch Hazbin Hotel again. That’s a musical with some style and pizzazz to it.
I watched a YouTube video in which someone compared Wish to, of all things, Hazbin Hotel, particularly singling out the villain songs “This Is the Thanks I Get” and “Stayed Gone”. They pointed out that while Hazbin is certainly not without flaws and not for everyone, it was clearly the work of people who truly cared about what they were doing, were creative, and were willing to take risks. Whereas Wish is very…not that.
And having watched the two right around the same time…yeah. I like Wish better than you do, but I’d still be hard pressed to give it anything above a 4/10. To paraphrase Bob’s Burgers, if Wish was a spice it’d be flour. To think it came out in the same year as <i>Across the Spider-Verse</i>…hell, that’s not even a fair comparison. You know what is? Mario. The Mario movie was a safe, star-studded, for-absolutely-everybody-and-therefore-nobody, corporate product. And it STILL has more identity and flavor than Wish. I actually chuckled at Mario a few times, and liked the animation.
Also, I decided to link “Stayed Gone” just to display that there are still people out there who know how to make a frigging villain song, and I noticed something amazing. “This Is the Thanks I Get” is, of course, up on Disney’s official DisneyMusicVevo channel and has been for the last six months as of this comment. In that time it has gotten just under 5 million views. “Stayed Gone” isn’t even on an official channel, some fan uploaded it 3 months ago. And in that 3 months it’s gotten…10 million views. Half the time, twice the views, not even official, and it’s a R-rated cartoon by a YouTube creator up against Disney’s centennial feature. That’s HILARIOUS.
How it’s done: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ai4eh_OCxvw
wholly agree. Most of HH’s music is catchy – a bit derivative and even a tad bit amateurish – but lifetimes ahead of Wish (or frankly anything Disney has released since Frozen 2).
Hazbin certainly has more than a few villain songs and its strength lay in the different styles for each of them, providing insight into each character while still progressing the plot.
“Stayed Gone” is a competition of one upmanship between two awful characters through their chosen mediums (video and radio).
“Hell is Forever” is a rocker on how the angelic powers are smug and secure in their divinity, have no sense of empathy for the sinners and revel in the notion of exterminating them.
And “Respectless” does an admirable job of switching beats and styles depending on who’s singing. While demonstrating that Velvette is more than just a shallow, fashion obsessed #GirlBoss playing with fire, she’s also pretty shrewd and commands attention through carefully chosen words and digs.
at this point, Iger should sell the animation studio to pay for more Disney+ exclusives and a tasty share buyback scheme. I’ve already accepted Zootopia 2 won’t happen in this life.
I would have picked the opening scene from Dinosaur as the point of comparison. The rest of the movie may suck, but I remember the part before the animals start talking as being pretty spectacular, at least at the time.
I do hope that some day we get a deep dive into exactly what’s gone wrong with Disney over the past few years, once there’s enough people who were there at the time willing and able to talk about it.
I am going to say a mix of resting on their laurels and Lasseter’s firing (and all the people who left as a result).
It is true that the opening scene is great, and the scene where the meteorite comes is great too.
Then again, I actually don’t think that “Dinosaur” is that bad anyway.
“Thank you. I feel seen.”
am I really an old man now and this is a reference to something?
So you’re all going to jump on the hate bandwagon, huh?
It is really sad when The Mouse just hates a movie because everybody else does.
And there’s no way that “Wish” is worse than “Home On The Range”.
I know I’m still looking forwards to seeing “Wish” in full on Disney +.
Because what I have seen from it is nowhere as bad as people claim.
And I know I will watch “Wish” a hundred time before I watch something like “Princess Mononoke”.
You troll like a champ. Bravo.
Mouse, this is the Internet: how can we be sure this isn’t real, live gibbering lunacy nearly equal to BAHIA itself?!? (As opposed to somebody trying to tweak our noses)
Or I could (gasp!) have a different opinion than you?
Is it really less likely that I’m a troll or a lunatic?
In animation terms you just told me White Chicks is a better movie than Citizen Kane. You might genuinely believe that. But Occam’s razor…
Welcome back Mouse, thanks for another good review
Why thank you. Good to be home
I’m so glad that you managed to bust a moo after all, Mouse.
So, I haven’t seen this film at all, and frankly, I don’t want to. However, I cannot avoid the discussion nor the various ads I’ve seen of it. So, what do I personally think happened?
Interestingly enough, the one thing I haven’t seen mentioned at all in this review is the concept art; a shapeshifting Starboy, Evil Amaya, Asha’s different character designs. People LOVE those. They don’t love Wish. Obviously, something must have been going on behind the scenes that has to be more interesting than the final product itself. And so we must ask: why?
The phrase “corporate interference” comes to mind. It’s very possible that Wish started as a legitimate labor of love from the artists and writers of Disney. But what we got wasn’t made by talented creatives; we instead got a product from the minds of standards and practices, the marketing department, and studio management. In other words, the last people who should be in charge of shaping the story period.
It’s well known by now that Disney has not been kind to its artists in recent years. Look, for example, at Disney TV Animation. Shows like the Ducktales reboot, The Owl House, and the Ghost and Molly McGee all suffered because of network higher-ups not valuing the people who make their cartoons. Not even Alex Hirsch has kind words to say about the distributor of his masterpiece, Gravity Falls. And as the no doubt real NDAs start to expire, it’s easy to imagine how many horror stories about the House of Mouse are going to pop up.
So when will Disney get its act together? When they start prioritizing people over profits. But let’s be honest, they probably won’t. It certainly didn’t under Chapek, and it still won’t unless Iger finds someone who cares enough about the artists to make meaningful change.
Jennifer Lee who co-wrote the screenplay also wrote the screenplay for Frozen and I remember the dialogue in that movie being fine, so I have to wonder how this script turned out so poorly.
I forgot to mention some points:
* “Wish” did really well in the box office in many countries in Europe and Asia and South America and was a big hit especially in Japan and Argentina and Uruguay.
* It got a 81 % audience score at Rotten Tomatoes, which is really not bad when you consider the hate bandwagon.
* “Wish” found a new audience when it eventually was released at Disney + last month.
So you can’t say that “everybody” hated it…
Look, I get it, you liked the movie fine. But you’ve got to accept that not everybody is on board with you, and that other people not liking a thing is not a personal attack, which you are very much acting like it is. Also I really need to go over your points because there are a lot of inaccuracies.
I understand that you really like something that’s considered unpopular and you feel the need to defend it. I’ve been there before. You are one hundred percent allowed to like Wish, despite what you may think. But at this point, you’re just going to have to accept that you’re in the minority in this regard. What you’re doing isn’t going to convince others on this blog that they’re wrong, only that you’re unwilling to respect their opinions. Which you very much are.
P. S. I still haven’t seen Wish, and if this is the behavior of self-professed fans, I never will.
My point was never about whether “Wish” was “profitable” or not.
It was about that it did well or even was a big hit in several countries.
And it’s clear that profit isn’t everything in the long run for Disney.
“Fantasia” and “Sleeping Beauty” didn’t make their money back.
But now, they are seen as timeless classics by many people.
“Pocahontas” and “The Princess & The Frog” were disappointments.
But we still see Pocahontas and Tiana in the Disney Princess line-up.
“Emperor’s New Groove”, “Atlantis” and “Treasure Planet” were “flops”.
But now, all of them are seen as cult classics.
“Wish” also did better than “Strange World” in the box office.
And yet, that movie has never gotten this kind of hatedom.
That time, people just calmly disliked the movie and forgot about it.
Really though, I often see comments from people who liked “Wish”.
It is hardly apparent from this comment section, but they do exist…
I think you missed that I’ve been called “a troll” and “a lunatic”?
How is that not personal attacks towards me?
And what is so problematic about my “behavior”?
I really don’t think I’m the one with a problem with other opinions…
Y’know, it’d help if you told us what you personally *like* about it. Or, at least, where you disagree with the critics’ opinions on the songs, the plot, the characters, etc.
(I’m curious, actually – did you see the original English, or a dub in your country?)
I simply don’t feel that it looks bad enough to deserve this hatedom.
I mean, was it really necessary to call me “a troll” and “a lunatic”?
Wait, wait “looks bad enough”? Have you actually seen the movie or do you mean that it’s too visually pretty for people to dislike?
“How is that not personal attacks towards me? And what is so problematic about my “behavior”? I really don’t think I’m the one with a problem with other opinions…”
Let me explain this as clearly as possible. You went on a blog of a professional writer who started out as a reviewer of the Disney canon. You disagreed with his opinion on Wish. Fine. The part we are taking issue with is that instead of politely moving on, you accused the writer of hating the movie because it’s popular, or “jump(ing) on the hate bandwagon” as you so eloquently put it. THAT’s why you are being yelled at. Not because you like Wish, but because you are being accusatory and frankly incredibly disrespectful towards those who don’t. I pretty sure you didn’t even read the review because you don’t bring up any of the points the author made about why he gave it a low score.
Again, you are completely allowed to like and enjoy the movie. You are not going to movie jail. But your white-knighting isn’t helping your case when people justifiably think badly of your character.
Well, I think the main reason people are calling you a troll is because you didn’t just say Wish is underrated by some people. You also said you were sure you’d like it way better than the highly regarded Princess Mononoke. There’s nothing wrong with minority opinions, of course! But the fact that you didn’t explain why you disliked Mononoke or, more to the point, why you liked Wish makes it sound like you were trying to start a fight. Backing up your points doesn’t guarantee no one will call you a troll but it does make it more likely people will respect your opinions.
FWIW, I agree with you that some people are probably just railing against Wish because it’s the cool thing to do or because many people are disgusted with the Disney company and happy to rejoice in any failure on their part, not because it’s objectively worse than several other movies.
As long as I’m leaving a comment here I might as well say this. Having seen Wish recently, I don’t hate it with a passion, but I think it’s very valid to call it the worst Disney animated movie for one reason. The basic premises of most Disney animated movies are fine, not super interesting but not super terrible either. Whether they’re good or bad depends on the execution. With Wish, the very premise baffles me. Why does everyone want the king to “protect” their wishes? Has anyone ever thought, “Man, I love this wish! I just wish there were a way to protect it.” Protect them from what? Being forgotten? But that’s exactly what happens to them if they do give them to the king. Maybe it would work if this were treated as a necessary evil, a price you just have to pay to live in the kingdom but instead the characters at the beginning act like it’s a wonderful life changing experience. It just doesn’t make sense.
That’s it exactly. What is Magnifico selling? What’s the appeal?
Fine, I guess I didn’t explain what I meant by that comparison.
But what I wanted to say was this:
The Mouse can lambast a movie with a hatred of a thousands suns.
But I can still want to see it and know that I will like it.
“The Hunchback of Notre-Dame II” is a movie that I just love, for example.
Conversely, The Mouse can praise a movie to the moon and back.
But it doesn’t mean that I will want to see it anyway.
“Princess Mononoke” was only my primary example of that.
But now I get that I didn’t get my point across at all…
And I guess I will admit that this hate bandwagon puts me in a bad mood.
Because I know it’s true that many people hate “Wish” just to be “cool”.
And I can’t understand why this perfectly fine Disney movie is this hated.
But I’m really not trying to start a fight since I hate to fight.
But still, I seem to just end up in one fight on the Internet after another.
And I don’t get why, but it’s really exhausting.
But I feel weak if I don’t express my opinion just because it’s unpopular…
Hi Furienna. Okay, let me first clarify that I wasn’t calling you “a troll”. I did think that you were trolling me (in a totally harmless way) when you said that Princess Mononoke was worse than Wish because…well, that really does feel like a very out there opinion. But if that’s genuinely how you feel, it’s absolutely nothing we should be fighting over. And if I insulted you I’m genuinely sorry, that was absolutely not my intention. These are just cartoons after all. I always look forward to your comments because you always offer a unique perspective (one that is usually totally reversed from mine but that’s exactly why it’s interesting). As to the idea of me jumping on a bandwagon. I mean, it’s me. Do I really have to explain that I’m not biased against Disney movies? I may not be a fan of the current era and direction but when it does good (Encanto for example) I’ll be right there praising it. If you don’t mind me asking, what language dub did you see?
“But I feel weak if I don’t express my opinion just because it’s unpopular…”
Having a unique perspective doesn’t make you weak. And enjoying a movie that most people don’t doesn’t make you wrong. I just might gently suggest that you change the way you make your points. Either promote the movie’s good points “I like this and this about the film” or deconstruct the arguments against it “I disagree with your point here because X”. I’ll leave you with this. I really hope you keep commenting here, because you’re a unique voice and I’m always happy to see you. But I don’t want to see you make yourself miserable (and I think this has upset you). If anything, you’ve shown me that there’s something worthwhile about this movie if it inspired you to defend it.
Also, the people of Rosas believe that their king can grant their wishes.
That is why they gave up their wishes and ultimately their free will.
(Even though I would never do that.)
FWIW, I disagree with Neil Sharpson about lots of movies. I just check this blog once in a while because the writing is fairly engaging and once in a while, he makes an interesting point. I don’t go to it for recommendations as to which films to watch and which to avoid. But I don’t see why I need to write comments bashing the blog for expressing opinions with which I disagree. If I did that, I would be commenting on so many blogs and it’d be such a waste of time. (Hence me not being a regular commenter here.) Nobody expects anyone to base all their moviemaking decisions on some random blogger with whom they seldom agree.
I agree with RubberLotus that it would help if you wrote about the aspects of Wish you enjoyed and why. But your other comments make it sound like you haven’t actually seen Wish; you just think it looks OK-ish from the commercials. I assure you it doesn’t make you weak to refrain from defending a movie that just looks OK-ish to you from the commercials. Once you’ve seen it, you’ll be able to defend it intelligently.
To be fair, I have seen more than some commercials.
Like for example some song numbers and the climax and the credits.
And I saw nothing that deserved this hatred.
But it’s true that when this review came, I was beyond tired.
Tired of having defended this movie again and again for five months.
And I guess I didn’t have the energy to write a more intelligent comment…
I really do sympathize with your frustration. A big part of the reason I started my blog was because I was tired of one of my favorite movies, the 2012 Les Misérables, being bashed on the internet. (Yes, I was familiar with the stage musical first and I still like the movie better.) This isn’t going to make me popular around here, but I’ve also liked more of Disney’s photorealistic remakes and other nostalgia bait than I’ve disliked, and I sometimes suspect that some (not all) of the animosity towards them on the internet comes from biased sources. So, I devoted a series of posts to defending Les Misérables (2012) and another series to devoting Disney nostalgia bait.
I understand tiring of critical shibboleths when they don’t align with your actual viewing experiences and wanting to defy them on the internet. I just think your technique could use a little work.
I know that the king grants some of the wishes, but the movie also makes it clear that this is a gamble. He might grant your wish, or he might not. But the characters (in the first scene) don’t treat it like a gamble. They treat it like some awesome privilege. For many viewers (including me), this makes them unrelatable and gives the impression the main character is the only smart one. (And she only wises up around the third or fourth scene or so.)
It is actually a very correct portrayal of a cult or a dictatorship.
The people are brainwashed into obeying and following their leader.
Thanks for the response. I get that that was the intention, but the movie does a poor job IMO of showing how the “cult” manipulates people. At the beginning, it seems like everybody just automatically agrees with it and the main character only changes her mind when she sees how beautiful the wishes (supposedly) are, which doesn’t work for me since the glowing ball things aren’t that visually interesting or appealing.
If it’s any consolation to you, I would rather rewatch Wish than rewatch The Black Cauldron. I remember that movie being incredibly dull. Wish, at least, tries to have some flair. And I haven’t watched every animated Disney movie (not do I intend to do so) but I’m certain there are others that I’d also consider worse than Wish. (Hence my not watching them.)
The most terrifying thing is that this schlock is exactly the film they wanted to make.
“This schlock” was a big hit in Japan and Argentina and Uruguay.
It also did well in the box office in several other countries.
Then it found a new audience when it was released at Disney + last month.
So apparently, some people did like it…
You mention Japan, Argentina and Uruguay as countries where Wish was financially successful. In other words, nations where the film was most certainly dubbed over into the local language. Sometimes, a good localization can do a lot of heavy lifting for a film that wasn’t well received in its home country, and vice versa. I also noticed from your blog that you’re a native Swedish speaker, right? Just want to clarify a few things.
I also went over to Box Office Mojo to compare how well Wish did outside the US. Japan was the second highest grossing at 25 million (no surprise there). Then comes France at 21 million, Germany at 18 million, and the UK at 16 million. Argentina actually wasn’t a good example because only 2 million dollars were made there while Brazil and Mexico made 7 million and 5 million respectively. With the obvious exception of the UK, none of these countries have English as an official language.
Neil: Firstly, let me thank you for your nice reply.
Thank you.
Like I said elsewhere, I had already had to defend “Wish” for five months.
Thus I was really tired of it and didn’t give your review a fair chance.
And I wasn’t as calm as I should have been when I wrote my first comment.
Alright, first of all, I want to say that I haven’t seen this film yet and have no immediate plans to watch it anytime soon so I don’t have a dog in this fight. I am only saying this because, well, this comments section has gotten a bit ugly and I only want to provide a voice that is not hot-tempered, is all. Mouse, I want you to know that you still have cool-headed readers who only see this site as one of their little quiet corners, that’s all.
Hey, I see you’re doing Megamind next. Good for you. I think you’ll need it after this. And I’ll admit that a closer look at that film is something that I have been kind of wanting to see anywhere.
And after that, I definitively think you should do Once Upon a Studio. It’s a much better 100th-anniversary celebration of Disney than this and with considerably more genuine passion into it’s making. We all have to admit that such a milestone celebration would be something to behold in this blog, the way you’d do it. And it’s short! Less than 10 minutes long!
With malice towards none (at least none towards you and yours) and glad to keep hearing from you, – an Owl 😉
Curious about the interview you were talking about, do you mind linking it here?
It’s not up yet but I will when it drops
Good to know! Thank you!
Abigail R Kane: Yes, I’m Swedish.
But nowadays, I prefer to watch Disney movies in English with Swedish subtitles.
Argentina and Uruguay have smaller populations than Mexico and Brazil.
Thus it makes sense that a movie will make less money there.
What I meant is that “Wish” was on top of the box office in those countries.
Brazil, the UK and France have been mentioned as countries where it did well.
And it really doesn’t seem to have done badly in Germany either…
I’m part of a writing group, and a few weeks ago, the topic of Wish came up. My friends who’ve seen it just thought it was just okay, one of whom having more negative feelings towards Strange World than Wish. Here’s the analogy I used to explain why the backlash was so harsh.
Imagine that your partner is taking you out to a new gourmet burger place for your anniversary, and when you get there, it’s McDonalds. Now, normally, you don’t have a problem with McDonalds food. It gets the job done. But you really wanted something fancy to celebrate the occasion, and your partner is like “No, honey, look how fancy our anniversary dinner is, isn’t it tasty?”. Said dinner is just a Big Mac with fries and a soda. THAT is why people hate Wish.
My point here is that Disney fans were promised a modern masterpiece and got something mediocre. And they were already feeling sore because something they once trusted to bring high quality entertainment hadn’t been doing so in a while. The writer of this review himself expressed frustration with the state of Disney today. And you can try to bring up statistics and data in your favor for a movie you yourself have admitted to not seeing in full (which is what one would call white-knighting), but that’s missing the real problem. This was supposed to be a celebration of Disney, and it’s the studio’s biggest fans who hate the movie. And unless the company can do something to regain their favor, Disney animation’s future isn’t looking bright…
I guess the reason I wasn’t passionately angry about Wish was that I wasn’t expecting it to be particularly good. (Doesn’t the Disney company proclaim every new movie it makes a modern masterpiece? I don’t take that seriously.) The premise sounded, in this review’s words, bland yet weird. And the idea of making a movie specifically to be a celebration of the company’s centennial sounded misguided to me. (Some of Wish’s writing problems suggest a rushed schedule, reinforcing my opinion.) I didn’t watch either Raya: The Last Dragon nor Strange World. The only reason I caught Wish was out of curiosity to see if it was really as bad as people said. If it was, I could have the fun of mocking it. If it wasn’t, I could have the satisfaction of being above all the internet outrage. Turns out…it was kind of fun to mock but more bemusing than disgusting (except for some of those lyrics. LOL.)
Okay, I think I have to rephrase what I wrote in my last post.
Disney wouldn’t have made a “mediocre” movie on purpose.
They do want to make money and preferably win awards as well.
But you can’t always know what will be a success or not.
Besides, “Wish” has given us lots of things that have worked before.
We got a plucky heroine and a dastardly villain and cute sidekicks.
They had plenty of songs and magic and lots of typical Disney stuff.
They wanted it and expected it to do as well as for example “Moana” did.
But you can’t know what people will think before the movie is out.
That said, there are “Wish” fans out there because I have seen it…
It is never a fact that a movie is “mediocre”, it is an opinion.
it is not the studio’s fault that a group of people are so unpleasable.
OK, but that’s a two-edged sword. Just as it’s not a fact that Wish was mediocre, it’s not a fact that it wasn’t mediocre.
hi mouse. I’m a long time follower, first time commenter of your blog. Do you do requests?
Hi Justin! Unfortunately no. I made the mistake of auctioning off reviews like…three years ago now? And I’m still working my way through the list!
What were you going to ask for? Maybe its already on the docket.
Aw too bad. Lol good for you working so hard. It’s the 1995 live action/animated version of Peter and the Wolf directed by Chuck Jones. Vastly superior to the much higher budget one from Disney’s “Make Mine Music”. Shelley Long from Cheers has a minor cameo at the beginning as the boy’s mother.
*Sorry Kirstie Alley lol. The kid from “Sleepless in Seattle” plays Peter, lloyd bridges plays the grandpa & conductor George Daughtery voices the wolf.
I’d never even heard of this one. There’s a fantastic Polish stop motion version that’s up on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yTpElS9Ey0
Kinda topical that you’re reviewing Megamind next, since the recently released Megamind sequel is one of the most despised animated films in recent memory. Wonder what you’ll have to say about that when you post the review.